SpecGram Archives

Tired of going through the archives looking for the very best articles? Buy the book instead! Lazy satirical linguists prefer The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics! (Now available as a PDF, too!)

A word from our Senior Archivist, Holger Delbrück:

While bringing aging media to the web and hence the world is truly a labor of love, SpecGram tries the passion of even the most ardent admirer. Needless to say, we’ve fallen behind schedule. At every turn, the authors found in the pages of this hallowed journal stretch credibility with their gratuitous font mongering—first it was the IPA, then a few non-standard transcription systems, then Greek, and not just the alphabet, but the entire diacritical mess, and now I’ve got some god-forsaken Old Church Slavonic glyph sitting on my desk that no one can even name, and which would give the Unicode Consortium fits! In print, we could handle this—I have a MacBook Pro, for crying out loud! But this is the web people, get a clue you motherless linguistic abber—

Now a short prepared statement from our new Senior Archivist, Rasmus Gauthiot:

Transitioning SpecGram to the web is challenging, no doubt, but our team is dedicated to this compelling work, and the synergy of the web and the proud traditionality SpecGram embodies will no doubt leverage an impactful return on our emotional and fiscal investment. Go Team!

And for those actually looking for the Archives...

Currently Available Issues

Speculative Grammarian:

Volume CXCIII, Number 4 (April 2024)

April Sages’ Day Issue II

To the Fools and Sages of April—A Letter from April Executive Editor Mikael Thompson

Brat-Bots: The Awkward Evolution of AI—Curmudgeonly Old Executive Editor Mikael Thompson

Linguimericks—Book ९८

Overheard in the Linguistics Student Lounge—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, IV

Precise Quantification of Feline Comprehension of Human Language—Mia Au

Sample Linguist’s Virtual Social Meeting Agenda—The SpecGram Information Technology Elves™ & The SpecGram Culture and Socialization Elves™

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

On Homeopathic Linguistics—Trent Slater

Retrofuturological Linguistics, Part II—The Future of Linguistics as Seen from the Past—M’Thoozela Oldman and Azhi Dahāka

Stymie Stylometry!—Advertisement

WANTED—STRONG COPYEDITORS!—Advertisement

The Prescriptivist Handbook, 213^th Edition—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Mix & Match ##—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Phonetic Drop Quote I—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCIII, Number 3 (January 2024)

The Dark Side of Our ABC’s—α-Betty Abū Gida

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ९७

Overheard in the Linguistics Student Lounge—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, IV

Improving the Plural of Sheep—Trent Slater

Οὕτως-ism, a Linguistic-Ecclesiastical Schism—Bish Ap Rick and Mini Szter

Effolk Dialect—Jimmypedia

Roll the Random-o-tron of Linguistics Questions!—Ron “The Diceman” McPokertron

Retrofuturological Linguistics, Part I—The Future of Linguistics as Seen from the Past—M’Thoozela Oldman and Azhi Dahāka

How to (Not?) Cause Offence with Linguistics—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Mix & Match ☞☞—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Nerdword’ll, Part III—Reg X. Woolery

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCIII, Number 2 (October 2023)

Large Language Musings—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Bʀoᴋɛɴ Nɛws Nɛᴛwoʀᴋ

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ९६

Official SpecGram Poem: The Search Goes On—Poetical Editor Laurie Att

Overheard in the Linguistics Student Lounge—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, IV

Press Conference of the Association of Overly Honest Linguists

Of the Abnegation of the Institute of Imladris—Found among the papers of J. R. R. Tolkien by Deak Kirkham

Shifty Linguistics—John Cagey and Wiley-Kai O’Tae

Academic Conference Treasure Hunt—The SpecGram Conference Interns

Flatu-Linguistics—Gus T. ‘The Hurricane’ Wynd-Maker

Nerdword’ll, Part II—Reg X. Woolery

Rasmus Rask Puzzle XIV—Lila Rosa Grau

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCIII, Number 1 (June 2023)

Buona Fortuna, Italiano!—The Editorial Board of Speculative Grammarian

Letters to the Editor

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A Poem About Syntax, Discontinuities In—Deedles D’Dee

Linguimericks—Book ९५

Overheard in the Linguistics Student Lounge—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, IV

Trapezity: a modest proposal for a new typological category—Nathan W. Hill

Nouvelles avancées sur l’étude de la trapézité—New advances in the study of trapezity—Joseph Vertmont

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

SpecGram Dictionary of the Linguistics of Mythological Beasts—Volume 123: The Vampire—B. Summers & T. Belmont

In the 8th Circle—Found among the papers of Dante Alighieri by Gabriel Lanyi

How to Reply to Meaningless Conversational Openers: Authenticity Without Impoliteness—A Linguistic Approach—Ian P. Lightness, N. Auden, T. Szitty

Mix & Match ※※—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Nerdword’ll, Part I—Reg X. Woolery

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCII, Number 4 (March 2023)

Down With Uptalk—But Not Tha̰t Do̰wn—Butch McBastard

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ९४

Good Ol’ Quantization: An Ode to Manfred Krifka—Deedles D’Dee

Overheard in the Linguistics Student Lounge—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, IV

A Literary Linguistic Analysis of The Very Hungry Caterpillar—Papili O’Noidea

Caedmon’s Hum—Kid & Mann

SpecGram Dictionary of the Linguistics of Mythological Beasts—Volume 2: The Wyvern—Miss Ickle, B. Easts

The Serial Comma—The Language Debate Society

The Daughters of Corpus Linguistics—Lexi Cal, Anna-Lee Ziss

It Is Interesting to Note: Best Practices for Scholarly Writing in All Disciplines—Gabriel Lanyi

Mix & Match ¶¶—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Rasmus Rask Puzzle XIII—Dam Homophones!—Lila Rosa Grau

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCII, Number 3 (December 2022)

Re-Speculative Re-Grammarian, Triskaidecahebdomadally—A Letter from the Re-Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ९३

A Deep Linguistic Mystery—І.М. Вікторія “Вік” Тетяӕмәтяіх

QES to Retain Name—Stan Dudd-English

In the Cage with the Stochastic Parrot—Pete Bleackley and BLOOM

Overheard in the Linguistics Student Lounge—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, IV

Journey to the PIE Heartland—T. Traveller

Are words Real? are Words real?—Lynn Guist

The Noises of Belchburper von Chufflenuffle—Noise #37: ‘Aaaaaaaaah’

Orthographically-Conditioned Morphology—CJ Quines

Notice of Disorder Quellment and Negotiated Objector Statement—Speculative Grammarian Task Force for Wanton Innovation v. Office of the Editor-in-Chief of Speculative Grammarian

An Overview of the Wai-It Language—Zeke Gothedeer

Mix & Match ‖‖—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Scriptominoes IV—Brāhmī’s Revenge—Trey Jones & Keith Slater

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCII, Number 2 (September 2022)

Spring’s Springiness Springs Springingly: Putting a SpecGrammy Spring in Your Linguistic Step This Spring—Spree Ng and B. D. Oing

Letters to the Editor

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Bʀoᴋɛɴ Nɛws Nɛᴛwoʀᴋ

Linguimericks—Book ९२

Discontinuities—Deedles D’Dee

Attenborough to Receive Second Knighthood—But Can Linguistics Cope With It?—The Lord Earl-Baron of Ovathatopp-Taytles

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

SpecGram Dictionary of the Linguistics of Mythological Beasts—Volume Minus 4: The Minotaur—May Doop-Storeys

How to Use the Comparative Method for Fun and Profit—Al Tayo-Nostradamus, Esq.

A Collection of Linguistics Themed Clues—Jonathan Downie

Featured Selection—Bridget du Pont

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram— Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCII, Number 1 (June 2022)

The High Point of Linguistics—Academic Altitude Editor, I M High

Letters to the Editor

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Bʀoᴋɛɴ Nɛws Nɛᴛwoʀᴋ

Linguimericks—Book ९१

Lord of the Rhymes—Deedles D’Dee

Overheard in the Linguistics Student Lounge—Chesterton Wilburfors Gilchrist, IV

Some Features of Arxiflbptlscfl—Trent Slater

Rēgēs Inter Rēgulās: Even Better Roman—Pyrrha Pulcheria Titania Maxima Candida, Þн.δ.

The Unlikely Origins of the Ethnography of Communication in Satirical Linguistics—Prinkle and Patriziana von Herzburgermeister

SpecGram Dictionary of the Linguistics of Mythological Beasts—Volume 87: The Werewolf—Val Kiri

An Assassin’s Alphabet—Mona Whit & Ethan Macht

Linguistics, The Study of Linguists: An Overview—Anna Grimsdóttir, PhD

Scriptominoes III—Trey Jones & Keith Slater

Word Ladder 三—Learned Hand and Benighted Foot

Previous Puzzle Solutions—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CXCI, Number 4 (March 2022)

Thank You for Taking Our Survey—The Collective Perlustration of Historical and Prospective Jocundity Potentials in Elite Satirical Linguistics Journals—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Bʀoᴋɛɴ Nɛws Nɛᴛwoʀᴋ

Linguimericks—Book ९०

Þe ⟨ð⟩-er ⟨þ⟩-y Question—Þeedles Þ’Þee

Against Capitalism—Norman van der Dorp, PhD

In Defense of Capitalism—Adora Urbano, PhD

Evidence for a Contemporary Language Shift in Progress: The English Passive—Vloor Vorth

The “Brezel-Rätsel”: How Sign Language Linguistics Can Solve Real-World Problems—Fabian Bross

Presenting The SpecGram Quiz to End All Quizzes

An Exciting Linguistics Investment Opportunity!—Advertisement

/hʌnikom pʌzəl/—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Out of Character—Elizabeth Cash

Volume CXCI, Number 3 (December 2021)

SpecGram, Quarterly—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ८९

Four Points for Linguistics—Deedles D’Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee

On Cultural Translation—Trent Slater

Monoglot Derivatives—Polly and Paul E. Glōttidēs

Calquing Greatness—How Other Fields Find Success Borrowing From Linguistics—P. Ạȧṛȯṇī Mh....
ɯsz & Nıöll ʘ’Dȷ̊ı̥e

Mix & Match §§—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CXCI, Number 2 (October 2021)

On the Scourge of Anti-Passive Stylistic Advice—Hidden Agents for Passives

University News

Linguimericks—Book ८८

Where’s -e Gone?—Jan van der Dam van Amsterdam

A Typological Study of Inclusive Language—Livia M Ballow

Evidence in Defense of the Strong Whorf Hypothesis—Reed Steiner

Quick Tips for Linguists and the Linguistics-Adjacent—Haystie ad Weisz

Rasmus Rask Mini Puzzle XII—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CXCI, Number 1 (September 2021)

We, Like, Need You!—Symantha “Symmie” Lee, Luke Lake, and Needy McNeedles

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ८७

It—Grahmbles Gr’Grah

Hyperglot Derivatives—Polly and Paul E. Glōttidēs

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

How Linguistic Structures Affect the Outcomes of Civilizations—Annie Connie Myst & G. Stuart Dent

Seeing Double—Chuck Lloyd & Julius Earle

Volume CXC, Number 4 (Mid-July 2021)

Post–Brood X Magicicada Super Duper Issue

Here We Go Again —or, This Too Shall Pass—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ८६—Academic Communication In Poetry II

Grammaticality Brown Strikes Back

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

Suspended Jail Sentence for World-Renowned Conversation Analyst Phil O’Torque—The Editors of The Journal of Forbidden Experiments

Βέκος I Say So—C. Nobody and Ina Cave

Scriptominoes II—Trey Jones & Keith Slater

Volume CXC, Number 3 (June 2021)

In the Immortal Words of les Immortels...—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ८५—Academic Communication In Poetry I

The Lord of the Rings: A Fictlangy Ker-ching—Ronald R’Ron

Constructionuffs and Generafers—Found among the papers of André Maurois by Deak Kirkham

Spanish Wins EUSLISS Again!—I V K

It’s ... It’s ...!— A Linguistic Analysis of the Result of the Python Poll—Pythagorina P. ap Pythonius

Polyglot Derivatives—Part II—Paul E. and Polly Glōttidēs

Artik-U-l8 Phoneme Services—Advertisement

Mix & Match ‡‡—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CXC, Number 2 (May 2021)

E Plūribus Ēditōribus, Ūnum SpecGramma—Gunther G. Undergruntus and Gus U. Gussettgossett

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ८४

Plotholders: Don’t Lose Your Plot!—Coherent and Cohesive Gardening Narration—Claymore Harebottom

In Defence of the Lexome—Ἀλέξια Ἀγνωσῐ́ᾱ, Лекс Циркумф, Լեքս Ռեֆ, & Lex Retrof

Linguistic Squirminology: Coming to Terms with Linguistics Terms—Lynn K. Wystick & Lexi K. O’Graffie

Caraway Crossing

Syllabominoes—Keith Slater & Trey Jones

Volume CXC, Number 1 (April 2021)

SpecGram Is No Mad Hatter’s Tea Party—Fergal F. McFerguson-Ffyff

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ८३—Biblinguimerix

Ode to RRG—Deedles D’Dee

Syntax: Above and Beyond—Shane van Vansen & Nathan du West

Polyglot Derivatives—Part I—Paul E. and Polly Glōttidēs

Mabel—Plato

The Works of Dr. Abstreuss—Series Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Rasmus Rask Diamond Puzzle XI—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXXIX, Number 4 (March 2021)

A Celebration of the Mesologue—A Letter from Loggerheaded Editor K’Dae K’Rim-K’Ma

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ८२

Ask Grammaticality Brown

Little Known Facts About Famous Linguists—The SpecGram Paparazzi Elves™

Tileni Revisited—Tom Patterson

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part XIII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Fables of Linguistics—The Tale of the Dysfunctional ⟨h⟩ Family—The Tale Teller of Tollerton Town

Amateur Hour at the Minas Morgul All-Ages Dance Club—Artemus Zebulon Pratt

Cull Those Writers! The Lines Are Open!—SpecGram Management Executive Group (SMEG)

Onomastic Destiny ♂—Dirk Delarme & Emma Gassert

Volume CLXXXIX, Number 3 (February 2021)

Transparent Transformational Transitions—A Letter from Transient Editor Kmikhar Akde

Letters to the Editor

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Diacritical Linguimericks, Part II—Book ८१

Ode to -e—Deedles D’Dee

Re-X-amining X-bar—Naomi Abrams Chewsky

The Linguistics Department Γυμνάσιον—A Guide for the Perplexed and Unretroflexed—Pynn Nupp-Gurle & Bīff Kāyke

The Physics of Linguistics—Φυσικές Επιστήμες, Jayeon Gwahak, and Природ О’Ведение

A Redundancy—and Revitalisation—of Competencies: Competence in Competence—Compo Tenz

The Influence of Seasonings in Middle and Modern English—Rosemary and Basil Dillon

Cancellation Notice: Philosophical Fight of the Century Postponed Indefinitely

Seeking Short-Term Provost/PA to the Provost—Advertisement

Mix & Match ††—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXXIX, Number 2 (January 2021)

Happy New Year—01.01.21 Editors Yan F. Urst and Dan U. Errie

Letters to the Editor

University News

Diacritical Linguimericks, Part I—Book ८०

Ask Grammaticality Brown

Bilabial Angel of Mwah—The Phreeee-Phinkin’ Philosophers of Philologogia and The SpecGram Encyclopedia of Linguistic Deities

P.R.E.S.C.R.I.P.T.I.V.E.—An Improved Approach to Grammaticality Assessments—Judd Zh’mntəls-Peeqrs

Helpful Comparisons for the Confused—Simon Ile and Mattie Phore

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part XII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Inter-Lingual Personal Script—Daniel Swanson

Extremely Amateur Mathematics Education Morphology: Renaming Mathematical Diseases—Egan J Chernoff

Scriptominoes I—Trey Jones & Keith Slater

Volume CLXXXIX, Number 1 (December 2020)

Have Yourselves a Very Linguisticky Christmas—Yuletide Editor X. Mus

Letters to the Editor

SPA Congratulates Vice President–Elect—SpecGram Wire Services

Potential Lingua-Cure for COVID-19 Discovered in SPIT—Pam D’Emique

Linguimericks—Book ७९

Ode to Reduplication—Dee-Deedles D’D’Dee-Dee

Don’t Take The P-s; We’re Positiv(ist)(ish) About Pedagogy—The Collective of South Minnesotan Language Pedagogialists

Theolinguistic Developments in Speech Act Theory—Johannes S. Rearle and Johan A. Lustin

Renaming Mathematical Diseases: Reducing Inflammation—Egan J Chernoff

Linguistic Sub-Fields Explained for the Research Novice—Sun Field & Lynn Gwee

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Onomastic Destiny ♀—Emma Gassert & Dirk Delarme

Volume CLXXXVIII, Number 4 (November 2020)

In Defense of Silly Satirical Linguistics: Lingua-Laffing as We Totter Into the Abyss—Irrationally Optimistic Editor Deak Kirkham

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ७८

Ode to Suppletion—Deedles D’Dee

Organo-Linguistics—Grammaticality Brown

The Predicament of the Predicate, or, What Have the Grecians Ever Done for Undergraduates?—Mavis Mandalay

A phonetic analysis of input to speech-to-text software in an attempt to improve on Upper’s (1974) unsuccessful self-treatment of a case of “writer’s block”—Fabian Tomaschek, Benjamin V. Tucker

The SpecGram Typology of Semiotic Signs—Finklebank Hartbrockle IV and the SpecGram Semiotics Elves

On Being [-AGR]—How to Disagree in Linguistic Academese—Bella Coes & P. Vish

Identifying Political Campaign Winners Through Linguistic Features—Paul Sterr and Ken Sultant

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part XI—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Meeting Regulations for the International Ambiguity Society/Société d’Ambigüité Internationale

Seeking Part-Time Adjunct Professor of Tuxedo Textile Technologies/Statistics of Tactical Syntax—Advertisement

Mix & Match **—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXXVIII, Number 3 (October 2020)

Submit!—A Letter from Senior Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

Scots Wikipedia Exposed As Fake—SpecGram Wire Services

Linguimericks—Book ७७

Key Figures in the History of Liturgy #12—Rowan and Cath O’Leek

Anglo-Saxon Speech Rules—Guthric the Left-Handed Linguist of Lindisfarne

Creativity and Variation in Esperanto—B. Ałłie Stock

The Quasi, Pseudo, Crypto and Faux of Linguistics—Norris Nowaday

Historical Reviews of Contemporaneous Interest—Tish O’Clair and Colin Fait

Things Not to Write on Your Funding Proposals—Part II—G. Reed, A. Varice, & M. Ammon

Triskaideka-Cryptolinguistic Puzzle—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXXVIII, Number 2 (September 2020)

Special Schwa Issue

Placidly Pivotal—The Centrality of Schwa—Viquey Vauel and Weekvoe Ell

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks Schwimmericks—Book ७६—With Guest Editors Ross and Rachel

Schwa-Nursery Rhymes for Parental Linguists #1—Old Mʌðɚ Hʌbbɚd

Ode to Schwa—Schwadles Schw’Schwa

Fables of Linguistics—The Story of the Weak Vowels—The Tale Teller of Tollerton Town

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

50 Schwas of Vowel—Advertisement

Ədvɚtəs’mənts

Series Announcement from Xerus & Ratufa Press—Studies in Contemporary Vietnamese Influences on English

Rasmus Rask Schwa Puzzle—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXXVIII, Number 1 (August 2020)

‘Study Ling-mind-your-language-uistics? Abso-whoops-a-daisy-lutely Not!’—Repealing the Appalling and Remaining Appealing: A Policy Document Approach—A Letter from Editorial Policy Boffin N. Effin Fickes-Achin

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ७५

Sign Fever—Deedles D’Dee

A Lexical Corpus of Alphabet Soups—Reed Steiner

Towards an Emic Weltanschauung of the Language Classroom—Gladys Golliday

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

The Unbearable Light Verb of having: Urination, Defecation, Procreation and the Impossibility of a Syntax-Semantics Isomorphism in the English Light Verb—Herb von Pherb

Hoity-Toity and Hurdy-Gurdy Romance in the Classical Period: An Overview—Llodio Q. Terenciano

Things Not to Write on Your Funding Proposals—Part I—G. Reed, A. Varice, & M. Ammon

The SpecGram Linguistic Enhancement of English Project (SLEEP)

Glossominoes—Keith Slater & Trey Jones

Volume CLXXXVII, Number 4 (June 2020)

Satirising Satire: A Plea for Help From Our Loyal Readers—A Letter from Associate Editor Deak Kirkham

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ७४

The Incipient Colonialism of IPA—Wallace Workaday

Letter to the Recently Discovered Murapirã People—G. Stuart Dent

SpecGram Film and Media Club—Manfred M. McManus

[sɜɹfsʌpdydz]—Stephen Politzer-Ahles

Sonority: A Space Elevator Story—Matthew “MattGyver” Lee

Historical Reviews of Contemporaneous Interest—Tish O’Clair and Colin Fait

SOS to the Rescue—Salphy Torque

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Οо Εе, Оο Аa Αa—Α Сrурtοgrаm—Ting Tang, Walla Walla, & Bing Bang

Volume CLXXXVII, Number 3 (May 2020)

A Time of Unprecedentedly “Unprecedented Times”—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

/nuz baɪts/

Linguimericks—Book ७३—O Morphology!

Semiotica—Deedles D’Dee

The Moby-Dick of Linguistics Research—Jonathan Downie

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

How Will COVID-19 Affect the World Toponymically and Onomastically?—Joshua Nash

Where Is/Are the Where(s) of Linguistics?—Candace Castaway

Linguistic Folk Wisdom—Knuttink Gnu & Underda Sun

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

The Journal of Lockdown Linguistics (International Edition)—Announcement from Panini Press

What Does the Fax Say?—Ada Cross and Tad Fox

Volume CLXXXVII, Number 2 (April 2020)

COVID-19 Response Issue

Behind the Scholarship—How the Satirical Linguistic Sausage is Made—A Letter from Editorial Associate Associate Editor Contributing Editor Senior Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

University News

When Irregular Forms Become Productive—Pete Bleackley, Trey Jones, & Art Clipopoulos

Linguimericks—Book ७२

Challenging the Gendering of Theoretical Constructs in Morphology—Parker Quinn-Sawyer

Diacritics and Dire Critics—Recognising the Cultural and Indexing Role of Acçèntéd Chårâctërs—Horace Hemingway

Dear Grammy, Un Koala If-Eyed

Making Metalanguage Great Again—Mattie Langwich

What is SpecGram Doing in Response to COVID-19?—The SpecGram Pandemic Response Team Interns

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part X—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Partial Brexit Reverse: UK and Holland to Establish Linguistic Free Movement Area—R. Fer, N. Dumm and L. Eve

Mix & Match ◊—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXXVII, Number 1 (March 2020)

A Logo for Linguistics—A Letter from Logographical Editor E’Kad K’Kamhir

Letters to the Editor

Linguists on the Loose—B. Zerk and D. Mented—SpecGram Wire Services

Linguimericks—Book ७१

To be or too many be-s—Deedles D’Dee

Ad Astra per Latini—Francis Faraday

Fables of Linguistics—The Tale of the Family of (In)separable Particles—The Tale Teller of Tollerton Town

SpecGram Film and Media Club Examines ‘Wannabe’—Mr Manfred M. McManus

You Have Two Cows...—Beau Vign & Dogie Vheel

In Memoriam: An Esteemed Colleague and Friend—Dr Barry Allen Grey-Vyaard

Presuppositories for Felicitous Discourse—Advertisement

Θησαυρός Γρίφος—Ternion Crave

Volume CLXXXVI, Number 4 (February 2020)

Summum Ius, Summa Iniuria—A Message from the SpecGram Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

University News

Vagarious Variable Vinegar Valentines Variety Vault

Virtual NLP Dice—The SpecGram Überlinguistaffen

The Subaltern Refuses to Cite: An Altermondialist Rebuke of Journal Impact Factors (JIFs) in Linguistics via a Foucauldian Reconfiguration of Semantic Web (SW) in Deep Learning—Beavis Beaujolais

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part IX—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Doris—Plato

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle —Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXXVI, Number 3 (January 2020)

New Year, New You—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Controversy Hits LSA as “Self-Illativizing Sociolinguist” Attacks Established Theories—SpecGram Wire Services

Linguimericks—Book ७०

X-Ing It Up: Meandering Musings of a Past-It Professor

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

Extremist Linguistics—Dennis Dossier

Reasons Not to Study Linguistics—Part IV—Dyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Speculative Grammarian International Academic and Very Clever Professorial International Linguistics Conference 2020—UPDATE

Grammatical Function-Changing Magic Show—Advertisement

Mix & Match #—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXXVI, Number 2 (December 2019)

The Gift of Language—The SpecGram Christmas Elves™

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ६९

The Ballad of Three-Tongued Ted—Onfor Anwyth

Locating Linguistics in Everyday Places—Dr Francis (Frankie) ‘Dunglebungle’ McCrirrickson-O’Smythe

Decoupling the Linguolabial Trill From Its Ideobatian Association—Eunice Emigre

Notes on Arunta Morphology—Orville Man-Quinnan Ward

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part VIII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Speculative Grammarian International Academic and Very Clever Professorial International Linguistics Conference 2020

Micro-Commando Diachron-5 Auction—/vɝnənz viː eɪtʃ ɛs vɔlt/

Domiphones II—Keith Slater & Trey Jones

Volume CLXXXVI, Number 1 (November 2019)

A Name by Any Other Name—A Letter from Executive Editor Keith Slater

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ६८

Whose Puppet Are You?—Kae d’Rik Kham

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Reasons Not to Study Linguistics—Part III—Dyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum

On the Predicament of the Predicate: A Pristine Proposal—Lois Lingerie

How We Think About the Sounds of Chinese–Any Implications for Psycholinguistics?—Bii Ming

Blends for Friends—Winning Words for Wise Writers, Worthy Word Wranglers, and other Wanton Wrongdoers—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Rasmus Rask Diamond Puzzle X—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXXV, Number 4 (October 2019)

Don’t Just Talk (About) the Talk—A Letter from Recursive Editor Edak Krikmah

Letters to the Editor

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EU Set to Standardise Diacritics Following Brexit—Deacon Red White and Blue

Linguimericks—Book ६७

Letters from Esperantoland—Dr. Ho Ping

How Does Art Mean? Parsing the Grammar of Fine Art—Morris McConaughey

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

Update on Linguistic Protocol Regarding Addressing the Monarch—Her Majesty’s Department of Linguistics

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part VII—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Seeking 0.6 FTE Professor of Articulatory Phonetics/Articulated Lorry Driver—Advertisement

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ԺԱ—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXXV, Number 3 (September 2019)

Shakespeare, Greeks and Dogs, Oh My!—A Letter from Contributing Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ६६

The Linguolabial Stops—Deedles D’Dee

Memo Clarifying the Recent List of Banned Words—Rhee Smog

Apollo 11 and Generative Grammar—Phyllis Fabergé

Reasons Not to Study Linguistics—Part II—Dyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum

Ted—Plato

SpecGram Language Placement Services—Advertisement

Crossword for Young Linguists—Avga Ah Morbror

Volume CLXXXV, Number 2 (August 2019)

Curses, Foiled Again!—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ६५

Amazing Language Facts You Won’t Believe—The SpecGram Pop Culture Elves™

Fables of Linguistics—The Para-Mimetic Tale of Poss -’s—The Tale Teller of Tollerton Town

Questions to Ask After Any Linguistics Talk—Juan Point and Justin I. Dear

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part VI—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

The B-Cos® S-Mobile—Advertisement

Mix & Match ☞—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXXV, Number 1 (July 2019)

Festive Arborolatry—The Speculative Grammarian Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ६४

Further Land-Grabbing in the Left Periphery—Tel Monks

Reasons Not to Study Linguistics—Part I—Dyspepsia Prater and Cynnie Sizzum

The SpecGram Film and Media Club Reviews Inglourious Basterds—Manfred M. McManus

Linguistic Fortune Cookies—Advertisement

Domiphones and Dominasals—Keith Slater & Trey Jones

Volume CLXXXIV, Number 4 (June 2019)

Speaking in Tongues—A Letter from Charismatic Editor Eakd Hirmkak

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ६३

Hippotomia of Tyre—The Phreeee-Phinkin’ Philosophers of Philologogia and The SpecGram Encyclopedia of Linguistic Deities

R’s Are Ours!—Hugh Kipper

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part V—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

People for the Ethical Treatment of Wugs—Advertorial

Seeking Part-Time Tea Person/Interactional Linguist—Advertisement

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle И—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXXIV, Number 3 (May 2019)

Things We All Take for Granted—A Letter from Supernumerary Editor Weirahl Innitto Gaither

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Linguimericks—Book ६२

Geothermal Influences on Second-Person Clusivity—Pele Vulcan

Thank You, Philosophy of Language—The Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle

Linguistic Old Wives Tales—Sarah M. Isaac

The Decline of Academic Language Departments—Whom Can We Blame?—Very Nearly a SpecGram Roundtable Discussion

Diary of a Xenolinguist—So-She Hat’O

Snot-Caked Coke Nuggets XXIII—Advertisement

SpecGram Classifieds

Pseudo-Q—Mark Mandel & Trey Jones

Volume CLXXXIV, Number 2 (April 2019)

Springing into Spring—A Letter from Climatological Editor Ka-ed Krimkha

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ६१

Germanic Taboo Glottalization as a Defense Mechanism Against Vowels—ʔAnna-ʔEmily ʔI. ʔOlivier-ʔUnderhill

K-LIŊ Linguistic Radio

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part IV—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Writing Cult Threatening Western Civilization?—Joe McAvoy

Realistic Linguistic Degrees—Advertisement

Rasmus Rask Mini Puzzle IX—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXXIV, Number 1 (March 2019)

Playing Off Fairness—The SpecGram Committee on Competition in Linguistics

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ६०

The Great Phonetical Epic Hymn—Mikael Thompson

Thank You, Interactional Linguist—The Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle

Also Somewat Against Diskarding Symbolz from Anglisist Riting—But in a Kompletely Different Way—Jacqueline Xóchitl Xaviera Concepción Wołoszczak, PhD and Dzhakalin Sotsheetluh Zaiveeëra Konsepseeyown Vowoshtshak, PeeAitshDee

The Linguist Parallel Parking Challenge—Pjerpe N. D’Kular & Oldja Loppy

HAIRGEL: A Preview

Prädikatsaussage—Advertisement

Mix & Match ※—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXXIII, Number 4 (February 2019)

Folk Entomologies—A Letter from SpecGram Intern-Wrangler Col. Curtis Kirby-Girdle

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguimericks—Book ५९

Thank You, Sociophonetics—The Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle

Against Discarding Symbols from Anglicist Writing—Thik W. Trals, PhD

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part III—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

The Mann de Man Language Institute—Advertisement

Bestsellers of 2018—Announcement from Panini Press

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ⠼⠊—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXXIII, Number τ (Mid-January 2019)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

The Splendid Words—James S. Pasto

Volume CLXXXIII, Number 3 (January 2019)

Language, Languages, Languaging and Linguistics: The Friends and Companions of Cold Winter Evenings—A Letter from Assistant Editor Deak Kirkham

Letters to the Editor

Meet the SpecGram Editors

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Linguimericks—Book ५८

The Nutritional Value of Phonemes—D. I. E. Titian & Vic Tuals

Thank You, Overly Enthusiastic Multilingual Freshperson—The Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

What Happens When Linguists Meet?—Harry Burns and Sally Albright

Flush Times in Buffet City!—Artemus Zebulon Pratt

Rasmus Rask Diamond Puzzle VIII—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXXIII, Number 2 (December 2018)

Volume CLXXXIII, Number 1 (November 2018)

© MCMLXXXVIII — MMXVIII Speculative Grammarian™—A Tridecennial Celebration—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson and Keith Slater

Linguimericks—Book ५६

Thank You, Historical Linguist—The Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle

*u̯erg̑- u̯erg̑- u̯erg̑-: Aspects of Indo-European Popular Culture—Joe R. G. d’Umezzille

Recipes for Success!—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

L’Ishing du Gwujlang XII—Mịʀʀŏ̯яяịm—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXXII, Number 4 (October 2018)

As Fall Falls the Leaves, so Contribute Contributors the Contributions—Keith Slater, Editor of Some Class or Other

Letters to the Editor

University News

Sally Thomason Does Not Deny Having Interest in Michigan Football Coaching Job—SpecGram Wire Services

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book ५५

Thank You, Postdoc Syntax Tutor—The Third Autonomous Bilborough Linguistics Circle

Quipley’s Don’t Believe It! ... Or Do?

Generative Grammar Proves the Existence of Aliens—N. Elix

Linguistic (Fight) Clubs—Tyler D. Urden and Thé N. Arrator

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Part IX—Book Announcement from Panini Press

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle —Mary Shapiro—Truman State University

Volume CLXXXII, Number 3 (September 2018)

Collocation Is Not a Crime!—A Letter from SpecGram Political Editors Конспиративан Кретен and Măgăriță Măgar

Letters to the Editor

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Parade of the Alphabets—Trey Jones

Linguimericks—Book ५४

The Dictionary of What Things Should Mean—According to Non-Linguists—P. Ublekkoppen Ñon & Suṛɨ Vē

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Abjad-Bits—Advertisement

A Panoply of Stupid Hijinks—The Dijkstra Triplets (Stuart, Kirsten, and Elizabeth)

Volume CLXXXII, Number 2 (August 2018)

All Hail the Romans—THoR, LOKI, and RAGNaROK (!??)—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

University News

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book ५३

The Origin of Tonal Consonants in Native American Languages—Iain Paul Anderson

A Complainogenic Model of Snoring—Otto Rhine O’Leary-Ngoloji and S. Lee Papnea

The Words of the Prophets Are Written on the Restroom Walls...—Art Paul and Simon Garfunkel

SPhLiMTic Glimpses—SPhLiMT High Committee of Beneficent Overseers

The History of Rome—Advertisement

L’Ishing du Gwujlang XI—Lusrveer—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXXII, Number 1 (July 2018)

A Lamentable Llacuna of Lady Llinguists—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ५२

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part II—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

Linguistics Gaming Machines—Advertisement

DevanagBerries—Advertisement

Rasmus Rask Diamond Puzzle VII—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXXI, Number 4 (June 2018)

The Psychological Reality of Fake News—and Vice Versa—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

University News

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ५१

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XVII—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Good Enough for Folk Etymology—Part I—A. Pocryphal & Verity du Bius

SyllaBerries—Advertisement

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle —Mary Shapiro—Truman State University

Volume CLXXXI, Number 3 (May 2018)

Literally the Best Contronym Ever!—A Letter from Associate Editor Pete Bleackley

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ५०

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Be a Linguistics Survivor—Out-Think. Out-Publish. ... Out Cold.—J. Probst and X. Pedition Robinson

A Note on dice ‘dice’—Response to O’Moarfz (2018)—Ἀστράγαλοι Κυβιχησκιῐ

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

SyllaBerries—Advertisement

Mix & Match ¶—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXXI, Number 2 (April 2018)

From Our Back Burners to Our After Burners—A Letter from Mergers and Acquisitions Editor Scopperloit Scobblelotcher

The CAPE of Good Hope—How Radical Lexicologists Restored My Faith in Humankind—Rhea Porter

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ४९

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XVI—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

The English Plural—Al O’Moarfz

To Shreds, You Say?—The Impact of Poly-Catastrophic Mountaineering on Advances in Topographic Linguistics—The “J. Farnsworths,” Hubert & Cubert

House of Pronouns—Advertisement

Phorensic Phonology—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CLXXXI, Number 1 (March 2018)

The SpecGram Pledge Drive—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ४८

Killing My Rhythm with Commas—Roberta Flap, Charles FOXP2, Normative Gimbel

A Minim of Wine and a Minim of Confusion for Maximal Contusion—Artemus Zebulon Pratt

2018 Conferences in Nerdolinguistics

Obituary—Velma Hortensia Schleppengruber

What Is Sil Doing?—Silvestre Ninelette

Volume CLXXX, Number 4 (February 2018)

Letters, Letters, and More Letters—A Meta-Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ४७

Homophonic Aphorism Confusions Clarified—Donald N.S. Unger

Evidence of Extraterrestrial Contact in English Function Words—Wolf Muddler

Maybelline and the Cliché Caper—Anita G. Gorman

Arabic Numeral to Numeri++ Converter—Daniel Swanson & Trey Jones

Οrthοɡrаphiс Ρеrplexеr—Announcement

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XV—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Relaunched Journal—Municipal Journal of Language Devolution

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle 0110—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXX, Number 3 (January 2018)

The One True Script—A Letter From the Editorially Bored

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Peer Review Song Cycle—Morris Swadesh III

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XIV—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Prescriptivism and Language Change in American English—E. Martyn

The Pragmatics of Noam Chomsky’s Menswear Criticism and Its Implications for Universal Grammar—P.G. McSim

Numeri++—Praenomen Gentilicium Cognomen, Esq.

Save the Adverbs

Bestsellers of 2017—Announcement from Panini Press

A Deluxe Diagonal Latin Square—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Volume CLXXX, Number σ (Mid-December 2017)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Q Continuum Reaches Solomon Islands—Brenda H. Boerger

Volume CLXXX, Number 2 (December 2017)

Special Teaching Issue II
Sponsored again, but with less enthusiasm, by Rosetta Stein

Selections from Linguistics is Kind and The Binary Riders and Other Lines—Found among the papers of Stephen Crane by Keith Slater

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ४६

That Tenured Man—Found among the papers of Dr. Theodor Geisel by Sheri Wells-Jensen

Conference Report: Educational Technology in the Linguistics Classroom

Proper Phonetic Pedagogy: Field Notes from a Laboratory Science—Jacob Bartholomew Pine

Teaching Historical Linguistics: A Program of Much-Needed Reform—Lea Kim Shopmont

Master Course Syllabus Revision—Fall 2020—LING 950: Dank Senior Semiotics: You Can Even!

Linguistics 101 Course Syllabus—Fall 2097—University of Coastal Florida, Orlando Island Campus

Rosetta Stein—German Language Delivery System—Advertisement

Corrigendum—Teaching, a Toad, and the Perils of Linear Precedence—Gobemouche Zounderkite, Ph.D.

The Logic of Teaching Linguistics—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Volume CLXXX, Number ρ (Mid-November 2017)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

The Perplexed Linguist’s Guide to English Departments—Athanasious Schadenpoodle

Volume CLXXX, Number 1 (November 2017)

Special Teaching Issue I
Sponsored by Rosetta Stein

Teaching Linguistics—A Letter from the SpecGram Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book ४५

Teaching Undergraduates Without Slander—A. Nonymous & B. Nonymous

A Study of L2 Writing Skills Acquisition under Conditions of Biostress—John Carsey-Brasco and Neddy Jacks

Linguistics 897 TA Training/Practicum Course—L’École de SpecGram

A Classroom-Based Study of Semantic Entailments: Definiteness, Specificity, and Anaphoric Reference in English, French, and German—Skiffy Bafflegab

Teaching Linguistics in High School—Sven Slater and Ollie Bickford

Teacher, Teacher On The Wall...—Mead D’’Cruft

Rosetta Stein—German Language Delivery System—Advertisement

The Phonology Test—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Volume CLXXIX, Number 4 (October 2017)

On Bimonthly—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ४४

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XIII—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

O, Apostrophe!—Anita G. Gorman

On Ergative-Relativity—I. N. Stein

L.U.R.V.E. is a Battlefield—How the Internet Ruins Everything Acronyms—Pat ben Ātar

The Gropes of Academe: Scenes of the Modern Academy Shadow-Boxing with Itself with One Hand—Nigel Cornelius Blumscote-Haverford

Linguistic Lingerie—Advertisement

Post Script—Chip Carver

Volume CLXXIX, Number 3 (August 2017)

Dear Readers...—A Letter from Over(t)ly Sentimental Editor Szerető Ljúbjaščij

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ४३

Whinge—Zarfu

They Have a Word for That—Anita G. Gorman

A More Interesting Observation Than You a Response—Aloysius Vinicius Perle

1001 Ways to Troll Linguists—A Fragment—R. Key O’Logist & Pei-Li O’Logist

Childhood Phonology Exposure Causes Bilabial Trills at Breakfast—Phineas Phlegmson & Raz Berrie

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XII—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Some Aspects of the Counting System of Nappaholihok—Darren Traming

On the Interpreting Ability of Non-Human Members of Kingdom Animalia—Prof Trent Slater & Dr Imma Gauld-Fishe

Grammaticalization of and Generalizations to What’s-PRO-Face Among Annoying Pre-Teens—Helgi von Helganschtein Searsplainpockets & Claudette von Helganschtein Searsplainpockets

Rasmus Rask Mini Puzzle VI—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXIX, Number 2 (June 2017)

You Win Some, You Lose Some—A Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ४२—Triolet: The Grudge Match

On the Proper Form of Authorial Adjectives—Skip Rufus Fuller

A Natural History of the Wug—Rodabaugh Venditto

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XI—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

How Many Languages Do You Speak?—Nate F. Spee-Curr & Nonné Divz Bīīqr

The Language Police—Anita G. Gorman

The Γραμματο-Χαοτικον Long-Term Care Facility for Decommissioned Mad Social Scientists—Advertisement

L’Ishing du Gwujlang X—Lusrveer—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXIX, Number 1 (May 2017)

For the Computational Linguists—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Macron to Face Le Pen in French Election—SpecGram Wire Services

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book ४१

A Sample of Self-Definers—Et Cetera, Et Cetera—The SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda X—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Research That Counts—Gnoo Merrill & Kwan T. Ti

New Children’s Programming from SpecGram TV

Review of New Approaches to Hedging—Ronald Rona-Ramalita

A Semi-Diagonal Latin Square—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Volume CLXXVIII, Number π (Mid-April 2017)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor-at-Bat—Butch McBastard

Pseudo-Psiblings™—And Other Views of Multiply-Blended Families—Trey Jones

On Pseudo-Psiblings—A Good Start in Need of Significant Linguistic Improvements Which We Have Undertaken and Are Here to Report On—Fillastre Pèl-Roig, Belle-Fille Rousse, Hijastro Pelirrojo, Rauðaz Khæran Steupa-Kiltham, Rotkopf Stiefkind, Punatukkainen Tytärpuoli, and Vörös Hajú Mostohagyerek

Volume CLXXVIII, Number 4 (April 2017)

Important Issues in Linguistics—A Letter from the Editor-at-Bat—Butch McBastard

Letters to the Editor

The Chaos—Gerard Nolst Trenité

Conference Report—The Third International Conference on Tone—Lev L. Falls

A Sample of Self-Definers—Rhetorical & Poetic Devices and Figures of Speech: Part II—The SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda IX—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Linguistic Term Definitions for Dummies—Dummies

Hella Hellacious Diversions—Artemus Zebulon Pratt

Phonology Hero—Xerus & Ratufa

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Part VIII—Book Announcement from Panini Press

Rasmus Rask Puzzle V—Diamonds Are Forever—Lila Rosa Grau

Volume CLXXVIII, Number 3 (March 2017)

On Fake News—A Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ४०

A Sample of Self-Definers—Rhetorical & Poetic Devices and Figures of Speech: Part I—The SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda VIII—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

The Most Unusual Creole of All: A Sociolinguistic Study—Cecil Roderick Bull and Trevor Nigel Ochs

/təmeɪtoʊ/–/təmeɪtoʊ/—Mondegreen Involution as Psychological Warfare—Maj. J. Hendrix and Lt. Theskye Thissguy

Bestsellers of 2016—Announcement from Panini Press

Fly, Sigh, Sentence Ugly—Siva Kalyan & Trey Jones

Volume CLXXVIII, Number 2 (February 2017)

Not My President—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

A Look Back: Linguistics Headlines of 2016—The SpecGram Newshounds™

Linguimericks—Book ३९

A Sample of Self-Definers—Mood, Aspect, & Voice—The SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda VII—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Linguistic Aspects of a Recent Curious Psychological Case—Vormela Peregusna, MD

Mantis Shrimp Color Terms: A Study of Research-Driven Interspecies Creolization—Francis Burlingham Constable, CDR (Ret.)

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Part VII—Book Announcement from Panini Press

Mix & Match ‖—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXVIII, Number 1 (January 2017)

In Defense of Sino-Roman—The Editorial Board of SpecGram

Letters to the Editor

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Linguimericks—Book ३८

Allophonia...—Leonard Conasal

A Sample of Self-Definers—Syntax & Grammar: Part II—The SpecGram Book Elves™

On the Scientific Beautification of Personal Names: A Study in Experimental Phonosthetic Onomastics—Heidi Ideo & Velma Phlembotaine

Biscuits and Languages: A Discerning Human’s Tasting Guide—Adham Smart

From the Archives!—Rasmus, the Fragrance—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda VI—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Zapping Words, Averting Aversion—M.O.I.S.T.

Stolen Property Advisory—SpecGram Major Crimes Division

The Peristaltic Meditations of Noam Chomsky—Book Announcement from Xerus & Ratufa Press

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle ڄ—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXVII, Number 4 (December 2016)

Sharper Than the Serpent’s Tooth—A Letter from Associate Editor Pete Bleackley

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ३७

A Sample of Self-Definers—Syntax & Grammar: Part I—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Focusing on the Topics of “topic” and “focus”—R. Jillendon

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda V—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

That Doesn’t Go There—Donald N.S. Unger

From Mwahaha to Bwahaha: Some Observations on Evil Laughter—Lady Esmerelda Rose Beeton-Frasier

Bait Me—X. Kuvador, R. Kialugist, and Pael E. O’Ntolojiss

Research Assistants Are Being Paid

L’Ishing du Gwujlang IX—Lusrveer—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXVII, Number 3 (November 2016)

Things You Know You Didn’t Want to Know—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

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Consent Forms—Adam Baker

Linguimericks—Book ३६

A Sample of Self-Definers—Morphology & Typology—The SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda IV—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Ultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Devil’s Dictionary of Linguistics and Phonetics, Fascicle 2—David Krystal—Compiled by Adam Baker

“Interpretez seront les extipices”—On the Correct Interpretation of Nostradamus—Part the Third—Roger Prentiss Claremont

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Part VI—Book Announcement from Panini Press

Pragmatic Scientist—Job Advertisement

A Diagonal Latin Square—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur

Volume CLXXVII, Number ο (Mid-October 2016)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

The Texas World Cultural Festival and Poetry Recitation Competition—Damian Grammatical

Volume CLXXVII, Number 2 (October 2016)

与工以口-尺口爪凡以—凡   仍巨十十巨尺   与亡尺工尸十   斤口尺   巨以也乙工与廿—巨乂巨亡凹十工立巨   巨刀工十口尺   片巨工十廿   与乙凡十巨尺

Letters to the Editor

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ३५

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

A Sample of Self-Definers—Phonetics, Phonology, & Phonotactics: Part III—The SpecGram Book Elves™

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda III—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

A Nindefinite Determinism—Γραμματο-Χαοτικον

Some Current Research out in the Frozen Wastelands of Current Research—Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Penultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

“Interpretez seront les extipices”—On the Correct Interpretation of Nostradamus—Part the Second—Roger Prentiss Claremont

Miff-Conceived, Miff-Guided, and Miff-Executed: Season 1 of Miffy the Selkie Slaughterer—Margaret Pearl Collier

27th International Conference on the Phonology of Acronyms—Code of Conduct

Xerus & Ratufa and Zombies

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle 四—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXVII, Number 1 (September 2016)

In the SG-Matrix, There Is No Chaff—Why Author-Level Metrics Are Inadequate—A Letter from the Editor-In-Chief

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ३४

Why Movies Should Hire Conlangers—Pete Bleackley—Illustrated by Laura Ryals

A Sample of Self-Definers—Phonetics, Phonology, & Phonotactics: Part II—The SpecGram Book Elves™

X Marks the Spot—Filling the Empty Quadrant—Yùron Yurōn

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda II—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Antepenultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Word-TV—Now A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of SpecGramMedia

“Interpretez seront les extipices”—On the Correct Interpretation of Nostradamus—Part the First—Roger Prentiss Claremont

Mix & Match §—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXVI, Number 4 (August 2016)

Prōpāgandus—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

What is a “Dog”?—David Marino

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ३३

On Powerful Linguistic Theories—SpecGram Wire Services

A Sample of Self-Definers—Phonetics, Phonology, & Phonotactics: Part I—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Preantepenultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda I—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

A Venery of Terms—Part III—Collective Nouns for Linguists—X. Altaysh & Uvlarr Ksss

Reviews in Linguistic Historiography: Mary Shelley, Frankenstein—Хөөмийн Гийлгүүлэгч

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Part V—Book Announcement from Panini Press

L’Ishing du Gwujlang VIII—Lusrveer—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXVI, Number 3 (July 2016)

The Coming A.I.pocalypse—A Letter from the Managing Editor

Letters to the Editor

Syntexit: The Facts—R.A.G. Day

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ३२

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

A Sample of Self-Definers—Orthography, Typography, & Diacritics—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Propreantepenultimate Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Against Hermogenes—Anders Horn

A Venery of Terms—Part II—Collective Nouns for Linguists—X. Altaysh & Uvlarr Ksss

The sg-index—Separating the Wheat from the Chaff—The SpecGram Data Science Interns

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle Γ—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXVI, Number 2 (June 2016)

On the Etymology of Editorials—A Letter from Editor Curmudgeon H.D. Onesimus

The Grapholinguist—Davis Prickett

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ३१

A Sample of Self-Definers—Writing & Writing Systems—The SpecGram Book Elves™

The Campaign for Phonemic Equality—Announcement

Controvertible Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

As All That Glitters is Not Gold: Disappointing Parapsycholinguistics—Nadia d’Orro

A Venery of Terms—Part I—Collective Nouns for Linguists—X. Altaysh & Uvlarr Ksss

This Weekend Only at the Coliseum: Orthoepic Diaskeuasis—The SpecGram Promotional Board

Spouses of Undomesticated Linguists: S.O.U.L.—Announcement

Mix & Match ‡—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXVI, Number 1 (May 2016)

The Modern Reformed Englishican—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

On Grammar—David Marino

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book ३०

A Linguist Fine and Rare—H. Stephen Straight

A Sample of Self-Definers—Historical Linguistics, Etymology, and Sound Changes: Part II—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Dubitable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Bar None—Donald N.S. Unger

Sprachgeist Guides for the Linguist on the Go!—Part IV—Book Announcement from Panini Press

L’Ishing du Gwujlang VII—Lusrveer—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXV, Number 4 (April 2016)

The Universal Language Forsooth!—A Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book २९

Minimalism for Mimes—Watta Puntshlein

A Sample of Self-Definers—Historical Linguistics, Etymology, and Sound Changes: Part I—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Universal Grammar: A Metatheoretical Approach—Étienne Plusrose

Equivocal Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Nominative Determinism—Lynne Guisticks & Yoko Ono-Maztique

Neo-Latin and Craft Latin: Recent Trends in Rival Latinitates—Fletcher Bowyer Scrugg

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle 2—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXV, Number ξ (Mid-March 2016)

Special Supplemental Letter from the Editor

Towards a Detailed Biochemistry of Innate Mental Structures: Consequences of an OT Approach to the Contemporary Novel—Mongo Yalbag

Volume CLXXV, Number 3 (March 2016)

Ane Editorial Comment on the Lack of Fresh Victims Contributors—A Letter from Associate Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

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How to Solve Syntax—David Marino

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book २८

Speculative Grammarian’s Song—Mikael Thompson

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

A Sample of Self-Definers—Sociolinguistics & Varieties of Language—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Unconfirmed Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

GHOST Grammar—Fang Gui-Ling

Review of Lily Brown’s review of 张红宾的 review of 李丽丽的 review of Roger J. Smith’s Reported Speech in Chinese-英语 Codeswitching—Reviewed by Shr Ji Wei

Bōard Gam̄es for̄ Linḡuists—Macron̄ Bradleȳ

A Speculative Scavenger Hunt—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CLXXV, Number 2 (February 2016)

Let Us Publish Your Dissertation!—A Letter from the Advertorial Editors

The Grapholinguist—Davis Prickett

Linguimericks—Book २७

Nunavut Bans Twitter—SpecGram Wire Services

A Sample of Self-Definers—Semantics & Pragmatics—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Controversial Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Reviewerish Field Notes—Cy Tayshon and M. Paktphaq-Torr

The Speculative Grammarian Survey of Grammar Readers—Morris Swadesh III

Not So Perry So-So—On Pragmatics, Fieldwork, and Imperialism—Əəәəᶕᵊ Ӛәəəәɚ Әәӛәₔ

Bestsellers of 2015—Announcement from Panini Press

Mix & Match †—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXV, Number 1 (January 2016)

Sēsquiplicātus स्टफ—Ἡμι-Demi-Семи-Μέγα Issue

The Joy of Deadlines—A Letter from Executive Editor Keith Slater

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book २६

/nuz baɪts/

What Does Linguistic Theory Mean in Practice?—An Elucidation and Realization of the Minimalist Program, Using Python—NLTK Monty

A Sample of Self-Definers—Grammatical Categories—The SpecGram Book Elves

A Grad Student’s Guide to Publication—Bill Spruiell

Unproven Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

I Heard It Through the Grapevine—Part II—A Survey of Current and Historical Evidentials—Reportedly of Interest to Linguists—G. O’ßip & Scutt LeButt

The Devil’s Dictionary of Linguistics and Phonetics—David Krystal—Compiled by Adam Baker

French Love, Poodles and Google Translate: A New Methodology to Build Language Families—Isabelle Tellier

Cryptolinguistic Puzzle—Mary Shapiro

Volume CLXXIV, Number 4 (December 2015)

The Essence of Holiday Cheer—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

The Grapholinguist—Davis Prickett

Linguimericks—Book २५

Australians Reject “Drunk Strine” Claims—Matilda Swagman

From the Computational Linguistics Cookbook—Curried Chicken

A Sample of Self-Definers—Case—The SpecGram Book Elves

Apocryphal Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Top Tips For Linguists—Part II—The SpecGram Editorial Board

I Heard It Through the Grapevine—Part I—A Survey of Current and Historical Evidentials Reportedly of Interest to Linguists—G. O’ßip & Scutt LeButt

The History of the Indo-Europeans—An Agony in Six Fits—Tim Pulju

Recruiting Linguistics Students: A Guide for Departments and Deans—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press

Trickle Down Linguonomics III—K͡Pa^r_ul K͡Brugmanⁿ

Volume CLXXIV, Number 3 (November 2015)

The Safety is Off—A Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

/nuz baɪts/

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book २४

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

The Native American Origins of Jack and Jill—Mary Hadlitt-Lamb

Top Tips For Linguists—Part I—The SpecGram Editorial Board

Dubious Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Barnyard Linguistics—Carle Day-Tepharmer

Why Linguistic Theories Fail, by Daron Acemoglu and James Robinson—Reviewed by Morris Swadesh III

L’Ishing du Gwujlang VI—Phicorthogra—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXIV, Number 2 (October 2015)

Germanic Day & The Celebration of Romance

Letters to the Editor

The Grapholinguist—Davis Prickett

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book २३

Hazards of Fieldwork Among the Hiithrobnsn—William Moore-Crusoe

Contingent Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

What Else Happened to Sociolinguistics?—Ronald Macaulay

A Survey of Recent Trends in Philosophical Lexicography—Jay Chough Starling

You Xould be Using ColEctivO X!®™—The Birthifying of an Executive Modal Verb—Executivized Linguistickish Solutionizers, Inc.

Mix & Match *—Max & Mitch Ninelette

Volume CLXXIV, Number 1 (September 2015)

Don’t Settle for Second-Best—A Letter from Associate Editor Mikael Thompson

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book २२

Phonologist’s Shanty—Traditional

/nuz baɪts/

Dependency Length Minimisation—Anna Gram

G. Ricean Maxims for the Earnest Researcher—Paul G. Rice

Uncountable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Introducing Sadian—Context, phoneme inventory and promissory notes—April Füller

Notice of Services Offered—Advertisement

Trickle Down Linguonomics II—K͡Pa^r_ul K͡Brugmanⁿ

Volume CLXXIII, Number 4 (August 2015)

Ane, Twa, Three—A Letter from Associate Editor Jonathan Downie

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986—Hamlet Tries Praat—Laura Ryals

Linguimericks—Book २१

From the Archives!—Dooms/Punod Manuscript Photo—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Boundless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Proto-Indo-Spamopean—An Early Exemplar of “Ye Olde Baite of Yon Clicke”—X. Kuvador, R. Kialugist, and Pael E. O’Ntolojiss

Will the Real Linguists Please Stand Up?—Prof. Trent Slater

Revelations Sober and Ailing—Artemus Zebulon Pratt

A Morphosyntactic, Semantic, Pragmatic, Sociolinguistic and Literary Investigation into the Psycholinguistic Mechanisms Underlying English Puns—Pete Bleackley

Son of SpeckGramm—Advertisement

Συυιτχεροο—Γάμμα—Double Trouble—Ἔλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος

Volume CLXXIII, Number 3 (July 2015)

The Fishing Linguist—A Letter from Executive Editor Keith Slater

Letters to the Editor

Linguist Dubstep—Rebecca Lovering

Linguimericks—Book २०

Grammar Cop—By Trey Jones

Innumerable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Startling Allegations Rock Historical Linguistics Community—Andrew Lamont

On the Cryptographic Uses of TLAs—Dash Ŋ. Ooba-Nuhd

The Topology of Syntax—Iain A. Plicable

The C-Rhyme and Pun-ish-ment of St. Alvin—Jerry Fyodor & Josef Dobrovskýevsky

Labyrinths & Linguists—Craig Kopris

The SpecGram Inquisition—The Tables are Turned!—A probing of Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie—with Inquisitor Inquisitoris Trey Jones

L’Ishing du Gwujlang V—Phicorthogra—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXIII, Number 2 (June 2015)

Recent Trends in the Linguistics of Tea

Tea Encompasses All—A Large Majority of the SpecGram Editorial Board

Letters to the Editor

The Hegemony of American Coffee and the Fight for Universal Tea—Prof. Dr. phil. Johannes Schomski

In Defence of Coffee: A Reply to Schomski—Tex Rex “T-Rex” Cobb

The Editors Strike Back—Replies to Cobb’s Reply to Schomski—The SpecGram Editorial Board

27 Things Linguists Didn’t Know About Tea—Number 12 Made Me Cringe!—Bas Fête

The Origin of the Modern Pronunciation of “Tea”—H.D. Onesimus

“Green Tea” and the Evil Monkey of Structuralism—Zacharias Esteban von Ordoñez

Tea: Supreme Ruler of the Morphemes—Thị Mã Quing, Kofi S. Ucks, Theodore D. Rinker

Features of Tea: A Potted History—Pete Bleackley

The Search for a Universal Beverageme is Futility—Ferdinand de Ramotswe

Which Tea You Should Be Drinking—A Guide by Linguistic Subdiscipline—Hitosarai Yōkai Ūron

Get Back to Work!—A Rebuttal from the Editor-in-Chief

Volume CLXXIII, Number 1 (May 2015)

On the Speculative Grammarian—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book १९

Away from Animacy Equality in Computational Linguistics—Olga Gerakova

From the Archives!—Alien Syntax Trees—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

From the Island of Bad Infographics II—Mizero Caquícona

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Computational Linguist, Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill, Chomsky—A Not-Quite-New Game for Every Linguist—Phlange Kadigan

Immeasurable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Pumptilian Perniquity’s Comma Removal and Remediation Kit—Advertisement

Trickle Down Linguonomics I—K͡Pa^r_ul K͡Brugmanⁿ

Volume CLXXII, Number 4 (April 2015)

Impaired Languages: The Next Focus of Linguistics—A Letter from the Executive Editor

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986—Everyday Optimality—Laura Ryals

Linguimericks—Book १८

Saban Restructures Contract—SpecGram Wire Services

Simulation Modelling of Syntactic Habitats—Nom Compik & Piraha Sanpitakuk

The SpecGram Inquisition—Keith Slater—with Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

From the Archives!—The Grand Nauruan Hotel Bill, 1888—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Saving Endangered Languages with Prescriptivism—Neil de Veratte

Limitless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Great Linguistics Movies and Their Famous Lines—Part II—The SpecGram Editorial Board

Clearance Sale—Xerus & Ratufa

Συυιτχεροο—Βῆτα—Ἔλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος

Volume CLXXII, Number 3 (March 2015)

Plagiarize This!—A Letter from an Unidentifiable Subset of the SpecGram Editorial Board

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book १७

Linguist Fashion Week—A Report from the Field—Prof. Trent Slater

Incalculable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

The Chadic Substratum in English—Nemo Thanneven

Great Linguistics Movies and Their Famous Lines—Part I—The SpecGram Editorial Board

Plagiarism Uncovered in SpecGram Pages—The Linguistic Inquirer

Bestsellers of 2014—Announcement from Panini Press

From the Island of Bad Infographics—English Parts of Speech—Mizero Caquícona

Sliding Vowels Puzzle—Basil Quinn

Volume CLXXII, Number 2 (February 2015)

Folios Replete with Maidens—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986—Reduced Vowel Healthcare—Laura Ryals

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book १६

Untold Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Degenerative Grammar—Desirée-Debauchée Cyntacks & Dec A. D’Cadence

The SpecGram Inquisition—Bill Spruiell—with Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

The Hidden Source of Theoretical Linguistics—The Terrible Story of John and Mary—Isabelle Tellier

Clearance Sale—Xerus & Ratufa

L’Ishing du Gwujlang IV—Phicorthogra—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXII, Number 1 (January 2015)

And the Winner Is...—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book १५

Google Translate Acquires New Languages—Adham Smart

The SpecGram Linguistic Advice Collective

Do You Suffer the Embarrassment of Loose Vowel Syndrome?—Dr. Goodword

Countless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

On the Sexiness of Linguistics—Ἐ. Ρωτικός & Venerius Effing

Συυιτχεροο—Ἄλφα—Ἔλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος

Volume CLXXI, Number 4 (December 2014)

Of Human Charity and Goodwill—A Letter from the Executive Editor

Letters to the Editor

Sleeping Furiously Since 1986—Laura Ryals

Linguimericks, Etc.—Book १४

On the Mytholinguistic Significance of Butterflies—Mary Hadlitt-Lamb

Endless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

It Was a Dark and Stormy Noun...—1987 Edition—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

The SpecGram Inquisition—Trey Jones—with Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

The Vowel Space DVD Boxed Set—Advertisement

Clearance Sale—Xerus & Ratufa

EtymGeo™—Weird Little U.S. Towns, Part VI—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

Volume CLXXI, Number 3 (November 2014)

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book १३

A Proposal for an Academy to Regulate the French Language—Armand du Plessis

Diet of Bilingualism—Didier Cochon

Unu Mondo, Unu Lingvo, Sen Kulturo—Tennick Bolson

Measureless Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Quantum Mechanics for Linguists: Die Bauston Interpretation—Prof. Dr. Harold Twistenbaum

The Linguistic Placebo Effect—I. Tinerant

Parenting Styles and Progeny Success—A Practical Guide to Broken-Record Parenting—The Linguistics Edition—Advertisement

L’Ishing du Gwujlang III—Dorothea Dorfman and Theodora Mundorf

Volume CLXXI, Number 2 (October 2014)

A Speculative Grammarian by Any Other Name...—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

Letters to the Editor

Linguistics Nerd Camp—Bethany Carlson

Linguimericks—Book १२

The SpecGram Inquisition—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira—with Inquisitor Generalis Jonathan Downie

Assorted Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Overheard in the SpecGram Editorial Lounge—Hellgrün Dunkelblau, Ph.D. and Myrkur-Viviti Темнота, ABD

It Was a Dark and Stormy Noun...—1986 Edition—The SpecGram Puzzle Elves™

From the Archives!—Satirical Linguist’s Hat—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Word Ladder 二—Learned Hand and Benighted Foot

Volume CLXXI, Number 1 (September 2014)

Special Retrospective Issue

In Retrospect...—A Letter from the Editor-in-Chief

“Dates in the Month of May that Are of Interest to Linguists”—by James D. McCawley—Reviewed by Mikael Thompson

“Morpheme Addiction”—by Susan Wishnetsky—Reviewed by Don Mueang Changi

“Noam Chomsky: Man or Myth?”—Advertisement by The Greater Lansing Linguistics Association—Reviewed by Rasmus Gauthiot

“A Stratificational Approach to Making Macaroni and Cheese”—by Tim Pulju—Reviewed by Trey Jones

“Noam Chomsky’s Syntactic Structures (Review)”—by Robert E. Lee—Reviewed by Fædrus Ϙ. Χ. Plaid’oh

“Variation in the English Indefinite Article”—by Tim Pulju—Reviewed by Don Mueang Changi

“Variation in the English Indefinite Article”—by Tim Pulju—Reviewed by Dr. Francis Narcía

“ ‘Variation in the English Indefinite Article’ by Tim Pulju”—Reviewed by Don Mueang Changi—and—“ ‘Variation in the English Indefinite Article’ by Tim Pulju”—Reviewed by Dr. Francis Narcía—Reviewed by Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D.

“Divine Unification Grammar”—by Ǣlfgār λ. Garcia—Reviewed by Functionalisticus Dyscolus

“Towards a Perfect Definition of the Term ‘Sign’ ”—by Louis Capet—Reviewed by Mongo Yalbag

“Twenty Special Forms of Rhetoric”—by Dawn B. Seely—Reviewed by Claude Searsplainpockets

“Gothic for Travellers”—by A. Judzis, the Visigoth—Reviewed by Wulfila Streitberg

“The Original Language of Winnie-the-Pooh”—by Aureliano Buendía—Reviewed by Bill Spruiell

“A New Mechanism For Contact-Induced Change: Evidence From Maritime Languages”—by H.D. Onesimus—Reviewed by Morris Swadesh III

“Choose Your Own Career in Linguistics”—by Trey Jones—Reviewed by Sheri Wells-Jensen

“New speech disorder linguists contracted discovered!”—by Yreka Bakery—Reviewed by April May June

“Double-Dot Wide O / Nasal-Ingressive Voiceless Velar Trill”—by J–––– J––––––—Reviewed by Jonathan van der Meer

“The Quotta and the Quottiod”—by Vére Çélen—Reviewed by Cadwallader Colden

“Evidential Complexity and Language Loss in Pinnacle Sherpa”—by Keith Slater—Reviewed by H.D. Onesimus

Cartoon Theories of Linguistics—by Phineas Q. Phlogiston, Ph.D. (with guest contributors—Hilário Parenchyma, C.Phil. and Erin Taylor)—Reviewed by Steve Dodson

“Systematic Suppletion: An Investigation of Ksotre Case Marking”—by Lawrence R. Muddybanks, Ph.D.—and—“On Apparent ‘Systematic Suppletion’ in Ksotre”—by Angus Æ. Balderdash, Esq. and Julienne Autolycus, Ph.D.—Reviewed by Noah McMosky

“Modern and Historical Graphical Representations of Structural Relationships in Spoken and Written English Sentential Utterances”—by Nattapoŋ Yunloŋ Seuŋyoŋ—Reviewed by the Society for the Topological and Extensional Modelling of Pseudopositivist & Ontological Statements Evaluating UR Research

Review!—Reviewed by Miranda Nuncalea

Linguistically-Themed Pseudo-Nihonese Puzzles—Reviewed by Ἔλλειψις Ἀστερίσκος and Ἔλλειψις Ἀπόστροφος