/nuz baɪts/—Linguist Discovers Alternative Source of Energy at Conference SpecGram Vol CLXXIX, No 4 Contents From the Archives!—SpecGram Propaganda XIII—The SpecGram Archive Elves™

Linguimericks, Etc.
Book ४४

A young lady who lived in Cape Cod
Dropped her lovers like each was a yod.
Says she, “How are /u/?”
They replied, “Rather /blju/;
Your di’lect indeed is quite odd.”
—P. Ublekkdeaux Meign


On her way past my office one day,
A philosopher popped in to say:
“Every thing linguists claim
Is epistemically vain:
All your bes, ares, and wills should read may.
—Morris Swadesh III


There was once a linguist from Bow
Who claimed all earth’s languages to know
Until filled with grog,
He trawled through Ethnologue
And discovered at once Judezmo.
—Vi va Voce


cfg schmfg
syntax’s excess com-
plexity sux but ex-
ceptions exist

antiinchoative
subregularity:
start at q0 and
never transist
—Andrew Lamont


I admit I can’t use IPA
And in technical words I will stray
Cos I just can’t pronouns
The sines you write down
I think it all sounds just cray-cray.
—Col. O. Nihilist


When suffering mild pharyngitis
That threatened acute laryngitis,
A signed talk I gave them
From illness to save them
Yet still gave all there syringitis.
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster


A young expat with voicing a-wobbler
Sought his sweet tooth to feed with peach cobbler.
But he received a turkey
That was raised by the shore, see—
’Tweren’t peach cobbler he’d bought but beach gobbler.
—Pumptilian Perniquity


MetaLinguimerick
A Linguimerick’s sly little wink
Goes right by in less than a blink.
Add a dash of good fun,
Maybe drop in a pun—
And invite the reader to think.
—Chaz Tushka

/nuz baɪts/Linguist Discovers Alternative Source of Energy at Conference
From the Archives!SpecGram Propaganda XIIIThe SpecGram Archive Elves™
SpecGram Vol CLXXIX, No 4 Contents