ADVENTUROUS LINGUISTS NEEDED to join in overthrowing Swahili as
the dominant language of Tanzania and replacing it with Arabic. If you
are eager and a risk-|
WE MUST STOP the decline of our pure English language!
Traditional techniques, such as reliance on the educational system,
have failed us. Stronger measures are essential. Force will succeed
where persuasion has faltered. Join the Society for the Defense of
American English today. Send $15 membership fee to SDAE, 1500 Patriots
FOR HIRE: Speakers of Klhatkp, a South American Indian language
which is structured oppositely to all known typological universals and
trends. Exhibits: OVS word order, postpositions with prenominal
genitives, head nouns agreeing with adjectives, verbs inflected for
weight, more. Will provide data for appropriate fee. For more
appropriate fee, will actually attend conferences and emit data at
target linguists. Send proviso to Gmahl Pkodzta, Chieftain, Klhatkp
Confederacy, 20130194829 Jungle Road, Paraguay, South America.
APPLIED WHORFISM. Are you a high military official in a nation whose soldiers seem to lack the proper aggressive attitude? Maybe it’s because they’re speaking the wrong language. If your troops’ native language is Spanish, for example, it’s no wonder they’re wimps; for well we know that modern “Romance” (a revealing name) languages are effete descendants of the manly Classical Latin of Julius Caesar. What your men need is a language which, controlling their thoughts in proper Whorfian fashion, will incline them to conquer rather than to run away like speakers of Italian. We suggest one of the following: Classical Latin; Old Norse; Modern German; or 13th century Mongolian. We also offer specialized training depending on unit type; e.g., Hittite for the flamethrower platoon, Modern Hebrew for commandoes. For a free brochure, write to Practical Whorfism Inc., Hartford, CT.