Linguimericks—Book ३८ SpecGram Vol CLXXVIII, No 1 Contents A Sample of Self-Definers—Syntax & Grammar: Part II—The SpecGram Book Elves™

Allophonia...

by Leonard Conasal

Well she heard it in your vocal cords
As phonemes sprayed in a ceaseless horde
But you don’t really like acoustics, do ya?
Well look at this: F4th, F5th
The formants fall and the formants lift
The baffled tongue exposing allophonia...

Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...

Well your vowels were long but you needed proof
You saw the data was not spoofed
Its beauty and the vowel height overthrew ya
She could not find a min’mal pair
She broke down phones with her new software
And from your lips she drew the allophonia...

Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...

Well maybe I’ve been here before
This soundproofed room and this data store
I used to theorize before I knew ya
They claim your phone’s on IPA charts
Peer review’s not a victory march
It’s too bold to be a spoken allophonia...

Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...

Maybe there’s a yod above
But I’ve never learned thereof
And now tongue root’s prob’ly gonna screw ya
They’re not spectrograms that you read by sight
It’s not so easy to bring to light
All told it’s just a token allophonia...

Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...

There was a time you’d let me know
When my vowels were getting low
But now you never show me data, do ya?
And remember my tongue moved for you
F3 and 4 were moving too
And every breath we drew was allophonia...

Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...

You say I made the sound in vain
I don’t even know its name
But if I did, well really, what’s it to ya?
There’s a change that’s slight in every word
It doesn’t matter what you heard
The polyphonic croaking allophonia...

Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...

I did my best, it wasn’t much
I couldn’t hear, so I tried in Dutch
I spoke the truth, I didn’t come to fool ya
And even though it all went wrong
I’ll stand here with my weird diphthongs
With nothing on my tongue but allophonia...

Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...
Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...
Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia... Allophonia...
Allophonia...

LinguimericksBook ३८
A Sample of Self-DefinersSyntax & Grammar: Part IIThe SpecGram Book Elves™
SpecGram Vol CLXXVIII, No 1 Contents