Speculative Grammarian warrants that its Journal, if used as directed in conjunction with normal human cognitive systems, will substantially achieve the functionality for which it is intended, as outlined in whatever documentation may be distributed with the Journal or may at some future time be produced. However, Speculative Grammarian does not guarantee that the operation of the Journal will be uninterrupted or error-free, nor that even normal human cognitive systems will be impacted in a uniquely humorous or even mildly pleasurable way. In no event shall Speculative Grammarian, its editors or production staff, nor any of its contributors (within the scope of all grammatical tenses and aspects), be held liable for any performance of the Journal which might be judged unsatirical, nor for any cognitive or academic losses or damages, either direct or incidental, which the visual or aural consumption of its articles may occasion.
You have been warned.
With that, we offer hearty congratulations to the Chiasmus of the Month Award winner for May 2011!