That time of year is upon us, linguists. Tell your friends|
and loved ones to heed this advice! Only they can save
Sad Holiday Linguists from their horrible fate.
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For decades, Speculative Grammarian has been the premier scholarly journal featuring research in the neglected field of satirical linguistics
We wish we were kidding,1 but no, seriously, we’ve published a large3 collection of SpecGram articles, along with just enough new material to force obsessive collectors and fans to buy it, regardless of the cost.4
From the Introduction:
The past twenty-
five years have witnessed many changes in linguistics, with major developments in linguistic theory, significant expansion in language description, and even some progress in getting a few members of the general public to realize that the term “linguist” is not defined as ‘someone who works at the UN doing simultaneous translation’. Speculative Grammarian is proud to have been a part of these changes.2, 3 And now, in our humble yet authoritative opinion, the time is ripe for the appearance of an anthology containing the most important linguistics articles to have appeared in SpecGram in the past twenty- five years. (Readers seeking articles from before 1988 should consult one of the previous volumes in this series, which have appeared at intervals ranging from twenty to one hundred years ever since SpecGram was first published).4 This anthology, it is hoped, will allow our readers to gain a deeper, wider, fatter understanding of linguistics as it evolved in the late 20th and early 21st centuries, without the trouble of having to take a graduate seminar in “Modern Linguistics” taught by a professor who’s so old that she thinks the Beach Boys are cute.5 Some of us took graduate seminars like that ourselves, and believe us, this book is better.
This book concentrates on those branches of linguistics which have always been considered central to the field: animal communication, third language acquisition, linguistic love poetry. That said, some of the most important recent advances have come in ancillary subdisciplines, such as phonetics, phonology, morphology, syntax, semantics, and historical linguistics. Therefore, you’ll also find complete chapters on those subjects, along with other major topics such as sociolinguistics, computational linguistics, typology, and fieldwork.
2 An important part.
3 In fact, probably the most important part.
4 Previous volumes are no longer in print, and, unfortunately, not found in any major university libraries. The Folger Shakespeare Library used to have a copy of the 1592 edition, but it was eaten by rats.
5 Not were cute, are cute, right now, in the 21st century.
As you can plainly see, there is plenty of the usual high SpecGram quality inside this volume. There is considerable quality outside the book as well. The spine features the finest faux Corinthian and/or Venusian “leather” “finish”, making it suitable for placement alongside your finest volumes of literature, linguistics, or philology.5 The cover features a potentially prizeworthy photo6 that gives an intimate inside look at the life of a SpecGram editor while making you realize that your own hoarding problem isn’t really that bad.
All this can be had for only $12.99 or less! Metric pricing in £ (G. €, Fr. €, Sp. €, It. €, ) is available as well, and has been provided by the Metric Interns. Visit our online store and order your copy today!8
“[D]ie-hard linguists will go crazy for it. ... A definite must read for Linguists or those who just like language and have some time on their hands. It made me have some fond memories of tape recorders and the numerous ways people can pronounce a vowel. ... PS: I want to be a vowelkyrie.”
—Melissa Reynard, If It Has Words...
“Don’t wait for Jon Stewart or Louis C.K. to do something with linguistics
— it ain’t gonna happen. Just get this book and give a copy to everyone who needs a laugh.”
—Stephen Dodson, Languagehat
“Shout it from the rooftops. Or just do like me and go stand on a street corner waving a Bible and scream it: ‘The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics is out!’ ... Seriously, this volume has not only a real place in the field, it also continues an important tradition [in the line of] Studies out in Left Field: Defamatory essays presented to James D. McCawley.”
—Joe Salmons, Mr. Verb
“[S]ome sections are generally accessible, and the motley mischief is unified by the trademark SpecGram voice
— if such a thing can be said to exist — which combines condescension with flattery and arch irony with sincere delight.”
—Stan Carey, Sentence First
Once you’ve bought a copy for yourself and all your friends and come to love it more than life itself, here’s all the information you need to give to your favorite library to encourage them to buy six or eight copies, too:
Title: The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics
Editors: Trey Jones, Keith W. Slater, Bill Spruiell, Tim Pulju, David J. Peterson
Publisher: Speculative Grammarian Press
Publication Date: July 2013
Pages: 339 + xiv pp.
ISBN: 978-0-615-84586-9 / 0-615-84586-X
Keywords / Subject: Satirical Linguistics
BISAC Category: Language Arts & Disciplines / Linguistics
There are errata available.
2 The exact number is hard to remember; when you know you are going to lose so many, it’s best not to give them individual names.
3 Here large is pleasantly ambiguous, but whichever meaning you took it to have, you were likely correct. There are over 160 articles in the book, and they comprise 21 chapters and take up more than 300 pages. There is a Preface and an Introduction, two Appendices, and more End Notes than anyone other than the typesetter could count. The book itself is an enormous, luxurious, tenure-
4 Despite this fact, we aren’t really charging very much for the thing. Keep reading.
5 By agreement with our “faux” “leather” “finish” supplier, we are contractually obligated to request that you not place this book alongside the works of any anthropologist whose fame is less than the harmonic mean of that of Claude Lévi-
6 See footnote 2 on page xiv of the book itself for more details.7
7 Or you could, y’know, click on that link you just read over. Shhhhhhhhh!
8 Contents packaged by wit, not volume. Some settling may occur during shipping.
9 That’s how you know you are dealing with a serious academic treatise