The Académie spokesman, Eustole Mesmots, PhD, RSVP, in a written statement, declared: “English has long claimed to be merely borrowing these words, but to date, nothing has ever been returned to French, and today is the day for justice.”
Prominent English scholars such as Ignatius Inkhorn deny the alleged plagiarism:
“English has never needed other people’s words. We have no need to borrow from other tongues. English is a complete language, lacking nothing, in and of itself. Besides we gave them back the hôtel and now we’re left with maître d’, which just sounds silly.”
At the preliminary hearing, English called on Dr O. B. Fuscate, Professor of Semantics at Madgalleon College, Cambridge, to speak in her defence:
Richard Turpin’s analysis of despoiled neologization (2001) challenges Heister Filcher’s classic typology of lexical larceny. While Filcher categorizes borrowing into either deduction or abduction, Turpin explores cases of “simultaneous shopping and lifting” in the form of camouflaged borrowing. He proposes a new classification of plundered neologisms, words appropriated and misappropriated at the same time. Examples of such mechanisms are phonetic snatching, semanticized phonetic smashing and phono-
semantic grabbing. Phono- semantic grabbing is distinct from calquing.
French lawyers have requested a copy of the brief without the words camouflaged and calquing, so that it can be suitably translated into French by their team of interpreters.
Biff Burgingham, the markedly blasé attorney representing English, was buttonholed by journalists as he emerged from the courthouse at the end of the day and asked whether he felt French had grounds for the case: “Au contraire, while we are of course au fait with the accusations, it’s a load of merde. Franky always was the enfant terrible of Europe. He merely wants a cause célèbre, but he’s asking for carte blanche to do as he wants with our noble language. En effet it is an attempt at a coup d’état. And we are not having it. No laissez-
The litigation, which seeks class-
In a related case, Greeks have asked for a seven year adjournment in order to compile a full list of words they wish to be returned to them along with the Elgin Marbles.