Scrambled Linguist—Trey Jones
ნიკოლოზ იაკობის ძე მარი (though “Nicholas Marr” was also accepted).Self-Defining Puzzle—Swivelhips Smith, D.Phil.
Knights of the Linguistic Roundtable—Fergus Falls-Brainerd
Lingo Jumble—Orang Pendek, D.Sc. and Orang Mawas, Litt.D.
Rebus—Wulfila Bruinne, M.F.A., Ph.D.
Be not a slave to words.
E’s-y Cryptogram—Prof. Dr. phil. habil. Erlösende Einigkeit
It is a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.
Linguistic Story Time—Abbernathy Ljunqvist, M.B.A.
(This type of puzzle is an automynorcagram.)
IPA Analogies—Dr. Watalodabaloni Überwoggle, B.F.E.
close-mid front unrounded vowel : close-mid central unrounded vowel ::
open-mid front unrounded vowel : open-mid central unrounded vowel
e : ɘ :: ɛ : ɜ
alveolar nasal : retroflex nasal ::
voiced alveolar plosive : voiced retroflex plosive
n : ɳ :: d : ɖ
close front unrounded vowel : near-close near-front unrounded vowel ::
close front rounded vowel : near-close near-front rounded vowel
i : ɪ :: y : ʏ
voiced labialized velar approximant : voiceless labialized velar approximant ::
voiceless glottal fricative : voiced labialized palatal approximant
w : ʍ :: h : ɥ
close front unrounded vowel : close central unrounded vowel ::
close back rounded vowel : close central rounded vowel
i : ɨ :: u : ʉ
close-mid front unrounded vowel : mid central vowel ::
open front unrounded vowel : near-open central vowel
e : ə :: a : ɐ
open back unrounded vowel : open back rounded vowel ::
bilabial nasal: close back unrounded vowel
ɑ : ɒ :: m : ɯ
(The analogies are purely orthographic, not phonetic, and involve turning, reflecting, barring, converting to small caps, or adding a tail.)
Mars Linguists—Prof. Yamātārājabhānasalagām Ouroboros
It cannot be done.
(That is, the solution is the phrase: “It cannot be done”. It is not the case that the puzzle cannot be solved.)
Word Search—Marco Manni Quadi-Suebi und Al P. Engermanen
Cranberry is not in the table.
Drop Kick the Quote—Phil Trum, Doctor of Linguology
Quotation: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another. —Ambrose Bierce
Who’s Who in Linguistics—Dniester Ostrogoth, Ph.D. and Dnieper Ostrogoth, D.Phil.
SIEVERS JONES MURRAY BOPP ZIPF VONHUMBOLDT GRIMM SWEET BLEEK MIKLOSICH JESPERSEN PEDERSEN KRUSZEWSKI BLOOMFIELD ZAMENHOF JAKOBSON FLENSBURG SAUSSURE SAPIR GRASSMAN HOCKETT
Verbing weirds language.
FonoFutoshiki III—Ulfheðnar ber Sarkur
The annoying floating grey dots are called the Hermann Grid Illusion, named after Ludimar Hermann.
Rasmus Rask Puzzle I—Lila Rosa Grau
R A N K C O N S A R E A O K I N A I P A L A S E R O T G U T A D A M C M A N U S T E X T U A L I T Y I L E U M S O F A S V I A L F T R I N P I N V A L I D A T E S G E N E C O N S A E S S E X S H T I K
Akróstichon—Dr. Dr. Fortina Haecceity, M.D., Ph.D.
Everything That Linguists Have Always Wanted to Know About Logic—Prof. D. Innere Form
Name School Field Symbol Rank Adele Wheat and Rice A&M Syntax ɔ 3rd Barney Munich Institute for Technologicality Historical Linguistics ʘ 5th Chloe Com Unity College Semantics ə 1st David Harvyard U Phonetics ʃ 4th Emily Cornhell U Phonology p’ 2nd
Et Al.—Nick Williams
/fənɛtɪk krɪptəgræm/—Moko Dude, Ph.D.
/ɪŋglɪʃ ɪz wət ju gɛt frəm nɔrmənz traɪɪŋ tə pɪk ʌp sæksən gɜrlz/
(English is what you get from Normans trying to pick up Saxon girls.)
Verbal Arithmetic—Fnu Nmn Lnu, A.B.D.
0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 U O T G N A R E V C
Words of Dubious Roman Origin—Numerius Negidius et Aulus Agerius
Linguistic Equations—Prof. Lars Tyndskids and Dr. Jef Van Pijperzele
Famous Extracts—John Miaou
Crossword for Indo-Europeanists—Tim Pulju
G A B S D A H L S H E A M O R E R I E A I D I M P E R F E C T U R N T O P D O G H A S T A N O F E E L S M O B Y R O D B U C K E R R O R E R O E T O U T H U N T E N T G R I M M R H R E M I T M A R I S A A M A A T H E M A T I C S O N L O O M C E L T K I N O T T O E M T S
Linguacrostic—Drs. Oniomania Succedaneum and Lex Quisquis, Ph.D.s
DIS(PLAY)FUL END(GAME)SOMELY—Maija Meikäläinen, Ph.D. and Matti Meikäläinen, J.D.
Double or Nothing—Schön “Sean” Kaunis, Ph.D.
Critical Readings in Linguistics Crossword Puzzle—Puzzle from Psammeticus Press
The solution to this puzzle is not readily available. While our intrepid Flo scored all the other puzzles, we were required to submit all potential solutions to this crossword directly to Psammeticus Press for evaluation. Despite submitting thousands of potential solutions, the only one considered correct was the solution submitted by H.D. Onesimus, Jr. Our records indicate that we did not transmit a potential solution for any H.D. Onesimus, Jr. Curious, that.
In any event, of the potential solutions we did submit, the one from SpecGram Puzzle Meister Sara Kessler was rated by PsPress to be 99.99999% correct. PsPress claims Sara did not meet the unstated eligibility requirements, which include owning all the relevant publications, including a Lingo. Since all Lingos have LoJack and none are in Israel, they know she doesn’t actually own one. Thus her solution is worth 0 points for the purposes of the contest.
PsPress refused to allow us to publish their solution to the puzzle, so we have reproduced Sara’s solution below. Individuals may purchase the 100% correct solution directly from PsPress for $250.
M A L T W A B R O M A N E H I M R O M A A R O N E L M A M E N D I N G S L E N I E N T T I L T O N H I G H R I S E R A B E O N U S G L R S N O T P A T C H A L L E N G E C A T Y E N P E R H A P S D E A G E A L O E I O N G L E N P E L E N N I A P E S F O R K I M L Y N
In appreciation of Sara’s efforts, we have awarded her a 75-year subscription to the print edition of our journal.