Although many farmer linguists can truthfully be said to be out standing in their field, major journals have seen a precipitous drop off in submissions related to the once-
We no longer see quality descriptive works, such as Lord’s “Chickenese
Why is this so? What has become of fowl phonology and mutton morphology? We refuse to accept any more straw man explanations
First, let us review the very few hardy investigators who are still cultivating barnyard linguistics.
For shear persistence in this research, the blue ribbon should go to Rachel U. Lambe of Barnyard College. Her M.A.A. thesis, building on her B.Aa. work, did much to comb the tangles out of prior research and weave a coherent fabric of data out of the rambling wool-
Her recent fieldwork has uncovered much about the semantic significance of ungulate utterances. The following words of ovine have been identified:
baː drinking trough
bɛː recently shorn
bɝː large predatory animal
mɛː leader of the flock
More tentative, as it appears to violate the normal phonology, is:
baːθ sheep dip
The curious gender of pronouns in ovine has also received Lambe’s attention of late. She has conclusively shown that second person pronouns are always female
Ms. Lambe is not, however, the only recent contributor. Another relevant investigation was carried out to explore why individuals in Caledonian fields tend to shorten their vowels, an effect labeled “Lambe chops” in honor of the founder of the field. Olde, McDonald, et al. found that this was only found in those who were suffering from ham hocks and that vowels returned to normal length and production after the application of oinkment.
The application of extra-
Few of those with a philological bent have focused on the rustic countryside lately, partly because of tales of the havoc wrought by the 19th-
Like all branches of academia, barnyard linguistics is not short of political machinations. At the most recent meeting of the Global Organization for Bovine Barnyard Linguistic Engineering (GOBBLE) in Turkey, key steakholders were found stewing over the fact that the organization’s finances had gone to pot as research monies had been lean of late. No longer can ethno-
There is simply no ducking around the impression that the number of barnyard offerings in established journals has gone down in recent years. Some have imagined that this sad tale is due to the fact that such feats of analysis are simply so eggscruciatingly difficult that fledgling researchers are currently flocking to easier work, perhaps work that does not involve so much shoveling.
However, a simple search reveals that predatory web-
We who prefer to do our work wearing open-
The final word on the subject must go to Joe Shoe, for his study of Sinitic loanwords in bovine:
“Does a Cow have Buddha Nature or Not? Moo.”