There was an old wizard of Oz
Diagnosed with delusions because
He insisted that Strine,
Which composed his mind/brain,
Held the key to linguisticky laws.
—Cailín na Luimní
While measuring birdsong performance
By finding the spread of their formants,
Don went on a jag
And recorded a shag,
Not knowing that they are just cormorants.
A young linguist and proud Amsterdamer,
She always had six leaks in her grammar.
When she mended the first
A seventh one burst,
So she’d always six leaks in her grammar.
—P. Ublekkdeaux Meign
A linguist with many ideas anti-Chomsky,
Disproved theories with hapax legomenomsky.
But when distracted with pies,
He absorbed all the lies—
Having been brainwashed by methods om-nom-nomsky.
—α-Betty Abū Gida
There once was a gymnast phonologist,
Who worked as an OT apologist.
He ranked his constraints
To meet all complaints,
For both fields reward a contortionist.
Some triplets who live in Pará
Can say quite distinctly, “dâ dá”:
By this triple refrain
They merely explain
They wish to consult their mamã.
—Anonymous, the Child Language Aquisitionist