A lovely red bird came to scoff,
“Your transcriptions make everyone cough,
And maybe you tweet,
With all the elite,
But your cardinal vowels are all off.”
There was this young lady from Lyons
Who learned perfect Spanish in Limón.
Then the natives elsewhere
Said her accent was bleaaargh
On account of late adquisición.
—Cailín na Luimní
An elderly prof was once smitten
With love for a language unwritten.
The grad students he knew
Said, on finding it true,
“It’s analphabetic ’n’ unfittin’.”
—P. Ublekkdeaux Meign
At the end of a hard working day,
A phonologist went out to play.
He went to the pub
To order some grub,
And a pint of their best IPA.
There once was a linguist quite critical,
With no real ideas ’cept to ridicule.
She’d no thoughts of her own
But she’d always a bone
To pick with all theorists original.
—Morris Swadesh III
Beware of those friends who are faux,
Those words that you think that you knaux:
German’s kind Gift*
Will sicken you swift,
And all of your adverbs will gaux!
* Gr. “poison”