The syntax I studied ad verbum,
But all of the -fixes are circum-,
-positions are post-
(That irks me the most)—
Your language I daresay’s absurdum!
Call for a theory that
Doesn’t just spin.
—Mannfrum van Tuckett
Of unstable footing young Yates
Writes verses no one tolerates:
The reason is plain,
No one need explain,
His metrical feet are not mates.
—Anonymous, the Metrical Phonologist
A student of Urdu named Linda
Came back for a break and a bender.
She knocked a sign down
And skipped out of town.
The judge just asked “Returned to Sindh, huh?”
There was a fine linguist who wanted to sleep,
He decided that he could count sheep,
He thought about plurals,
And wallpaper florals
And soon they had all turned to
—Callum & Virginia
There are those who abhor IPA,
So fauxnetics iz wot mayks thair day.
Buht iz [i] awlwayz <ee>?
Wī not <ea>, <ei>, awr <ie>?
What is wrong with orthography, pray?
—Cailín na Luimní