The decoded transmission from heaven
Our thought, math, and science did leaven
For it proved not base ten
Neither hex to be in
But rather base 6.47.
As for topics, they’re what we all know,
And the focus is, like, new info.
If you mark them real well,
Then your stories sound swell,
And your information will just flow.
—Morris Swadesh III
Though the system of kin terms was bothersome
Enlightenment struck once I’d pondered some
Then turning pedantic,
I cried, “Bob is your grandfather’s other son!”
Some literary linguists once said
You should never take sources to bed
But for those still observing
That’s mighty unnerving—
Our informers could fill out a shed!
—Col. O. Nihilist
Phonemes pertain to phonetics
The way rule books pertain to athletics:
They organize sounds—
Ins and outs of their bounds—
But with leaks like the worst diuretics.
—H. Stephen Straight
With “Have some,” you offer me cookies,
Then tell me, “Take what you want, please.”
Come on now, ex-cuse me,
How dare you confuse me
By telling me two different things? —Jeez!