In Parts the First and Second of this series, we discussed the basis of our new interpretation of the prophetic verses of Michel de Nostredame (1503-1566), usually known as Nostradamus. His verses have eluded definitive interpretation for several centuries, and this series shows that that is because earlier interpretations made the basic error of assuming his verses were in French. In fact, they are better interpreted as English encoded in French. This part shall complete the task of interpretation of selected verses, after which we shall turn to the question of how they came to be composed.
As previously mentioned, Nostradamus’ major collection of prophetic verses contains ten Centuries of 100 quatrains each, followed by two Centuries or compilations of other verses, some in sextet form. One verse was selected randomly from each Century for interpretation. This part gives the proper interpretation of the selected quatrains from Centuries IX–
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This quatrain describes the unsavory carryings-on of ,1 who served as of from to , and his , , who was later convicted of , but who started her career as an ecdysiast at , where she earned local fame and a great deal of unreported income serving as the pre-
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This quatrain concerns the last years of Elvis Presley’s life. The third line concerns his marriage in 1966, which took place in his second home town of Las Vegas (“home away”), while the fourth line probably refers obliquely to one of his less savory alco-
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This verse describes the flooding of New Orleans by Hurricane Katrina in 2005. The first line describes the breaks in the levees protecting the city (“sea censors,” as they serve to suppress something salty, in this case the sea), and the second line describes the flooding (“water doom”) amid the heavy rains of the hurricane. While prawns are usually cooked to a nicety in New Orleans, this time they were raw, and the flood waters surged everywhere, even through the locker rooms of schools, all near the end of summer (the turning of the seasons). The last two lines tie these glimpses of catastrophe together by comparing the flooded city, raw prawns and all, to a massive vat of gumbo (note that from the air the flood waters closely resembled certain styles of gumbo); the okra (New Orleans culture) is ground away to soak on the ground, and even by Mardi Gras (the “fat supper”) only a crumb of tourist dollars could be raised.
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While one can make a bizarre, unsatisfying, and utterly specious argument that this quatrain refers to the 2016 presidential election, in fact it concerns the musical career of Karen Carpenter, who started out as a celebrated drummer. She was slowly replaced in her regular ensemble by Hal Blaine, who in comparison is described as having a “tin ear,” as her career as vocalist burgeoned. The third line refers to the sad fate of her solo album, which was shelved after a long struggle to get A&M Records to release it and for which she was charged $400,000 out of future royalties. The last line sums up her songs as the sort of soft-
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First, let us survey the scene: All twelve of the verses randomly selected for interpretation yielded easily comprehensible, nay, crystal-
Now that that hash is settled, note that the verses read as English are more correct than those read as French. Consider again X 72 above, which has been widely interpreted (especially before 1999) as predicting a Russian-
Now that that fish has been fried (indeed, deep-
Now that we have established the overwhelming supremacy and truthfulness of this methodology, it behooves us as philologists or their lessers (e.g., linguists) to determine the historical circumstances leading Nostradamus to the composition of his prophecies. First, why was he encoding English as French? Probably due to a combination of ignorance of other languages and a benighted attachment to French as something more praiseworthy than an utterly barbarized, bastardized form of especially vulgar Latin spoken by uncultured Celts and the ruder sorts of Germanic barbarians and degraded by centuries of speech disorders. This at least is indisputable.
The next question is how he came into contact with the English Urtext in the first place. Now, as we have established, clearly he was seeing the future. Thus, the most parsimonious explanation is that he was receiving tachyonic transmissions from the minds of future English speakers encoding fleeting thoughts about the pressing issues of the day, the major circumstances and social forces shaping life, the grand pageant of history, or Karen Carpenter. Leaving aside the amusing linguistic ironies in referring to later thoughts as an Urtext, this allows us to establish the existence of tachyons, which will revolutionize modern physics
Further research is necessary to establish the contexts of knowledge, educational attainments and political affiliations, cultural proclivities, and date ranges for the Urtext versifier or versifiers whose thoughts Nostradamus tapped. This requires further funding. Donations can be submitted to this researcher’s bank account, and probably should not be transmitted via Speculative Grammarian. While they’d really love that, unlike me they don’t give receipts for tax purposes. Or any purposes, really. Indeed, giving them money is the best way to make sure they fail to recognize you the next time they see you, which often makes the donation worth it.
1 On the advice of SpecGram’s legal counsel, we have blacked out the names involved, just to be safe.
2 For the record, the actual comment was, “Jeez Louise, Karen Carpenter? [Yeltsinesque stream of a dozen expletives deleted.] Riddle me this, riddle guy: How can you be sure it isn’t Evelyn Glennie or Caroline Corr, or for that matter that chick who banged the drums on ‘Have I the Right’? Rollicking good song, by the way.” —Eds.
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