University News SpecGram Vol CLXXXIV, No 2 Contents Germanic Taboo Glottalization as a Defense Mechanism Against Vowels—ʔAnna-ʔEmily ʔI. ʔOlivier-ʔUnderhill

Linguimericks
Book ६१

My work on the causal because-clause
Was rejected by publishing scofflaws.
When asked why that was,
There was scarcely a pause
Before they replied, “Well, because flaws.”
—Pumptilian Perniquity


The limerick’s pattern’s forgiving,
And linguists break rules for a living;
When the SpecGramming crew
Writes a linguimerick or two,
It may happen that some abstract and idealized underlying form must be posited in order to make the last line fit the rhyme and meter.
—Morris Swadesh III


At the Library
A crucial bookgone!
Checked out by a professor—
Indefinitely
—Lauren Ipsum


A cohort of philologists
Was asked to take pop culture tests
Like “Who’s the next Bond?”
“Name that Taylor Swift song”
After which they all needed a rest.

A cohort of linguists was next
They took the same pop culture tests
First they crunched all the data,
Made models, and later
Got CalTech and Brown to invest.
—William Deaksworth


Beware of those friends who are faux,
Those words that you think that you knaux:
A question ’bout farti*
Will ruin the party
E’en though it’s a friendly hellaux.
—Margeaux Boudreaux


*Esperanto “to feel”, as in kiel vi fartas?, “how are you doing/feeling?”

University News
Germanic Taboo Glottalization as a Defense Mechanism Against VowelsʔAnna-ʔEmily ʔI. ʔOlivier-ʔUnderhill
SpecGram Vol CLXXXIV, No 2 Contents