Conversations with the Arch-Linguist (Part 1)—Jim Brentley Langue du Monde — JLSSCNC Vol XVI, No 1 Contents Savage Field Work—Dr. X. Shr

Poetry Corner

Clever Ditties and Bitter Tormentia from Our Readers

Val Harmony

It was many and many a year ago,
   In a tower of ivory,
That a maiden there lived who I did love,
   By the name of Val Harmony;
And this maiden and I, we had no other thought
   Than to study phonology.

I was a grad and she was a grad,
   In this tower of ivory,
But we worked with a fervor surpassing our profs
   I and my Val Harmony;
And our papers on Autosegmental design
   Others coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,
   In this tower of ivory,
An “accident” happened one night, killing
   My beautiful Val Harmony;
So that our fellow students came
   And bore her away from me,
And laid her to rest in a tomb far away
   From this tower of ivory.

Professors, in spite of their tenure and perks,
   Went envying her and me;
Yes! that was the reason, (as all men know,
   In this tower of ivory)
That a shelf fell down in the stacks by night,
   Crushing and killing my Val Harmony.

But our touch, it spread wider by far than the clutch
   Of those much more famous than we,
   Of many more published than we;
And neither the scholars of East coast nor West,
   Nor the prof from the Windy City,
Can ever dissever my tears from the tears
   Of the beautiful Val Harmony:

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
   Of the beautiful Val Harmony;
And I scarce draw a chart, but it mirrors the heart
   Of the beautiful Val Harmony;
Though our foes think it quaint, yet my love grows not faint
For the maiden whose love for me knew no constraint:
   Her whose skeleton rests and is free,
   From the tower of ivory.

-Edgar Allan Slater



Untitled

Two asp really candies lithe eat oaves
Teach ironed gym baloney wave
Wool mim sewer tabouric roves
Anthem ohm rafts shout grave.

Be wordy job awoke mice awn
Teach Austin biding closet kedge
Voyeur teach up jobber tension
Tough rheumious panders nudge.

Eat duckies forepaw sardine hen
Lung dime domains unvoice ought
Swore aesthete tea biding humdrum dream
Ant study wile untaught.

Endorsing office thawed east too
Teach aver walk with Aesop blame
Game whipple untruly told she wouldn’t
Purple tacit game.

Oo! Onto wand doing truant true
Tabour full plate wince knickers knack
Hay lifted debt unwitty said
Hay winkle unfang beck.

Unhasty slimey job awoke
Gummed tummy warms maybe much buoy
Overawed juice steak Aleut galley
Each shorted honest Joey.

Two asp really candies lithe eat oaves
Teach ironed gym baloney wave
Wool mim sewer tabouric roves
Anthem ohm rafts shout grave.

-Name Unknown, AT&T/Bell Labs

Conversations with the Arch-Linguist (Part 1)—Jim Brentley
Savage Field Work—Dr. X. Shr
Langue du Monde — JLSSCNC Vol XVI, No 1 Contents