Letters to the Editor SpecGram Vol CLXXXI, No 3 Contents /nuz baɪts/

Linguimericks, Etc.
Book ५०

Aye wants when too college at Skidmore
Wear noses were razed it my gram-more.
No depart mint or -ology
studded syntax nerf ph’nology
The air samples of speech axe whir prised more.
—Virginia Bouchard


Supervisor is angry
Data are still unclear and unsound
Good job I brought him some tea.
—Col. O. Nihilist


If only
If only we could redefine “standard”
so that everyone fit
within the first deviation—
we’d be done, and linguists could pack and go home!
Wait.
Come to think of it,
I already work at home,
which is probably why
I came up with that idea to begin with.
Note to self: spend less time alone.
—Morris Swadesh III


Strange trees they have in Cambridge Town,
Binary branching ev’rywhere!
With leaves and fruit of verb and noun—
Strange trees they have. In Cambridge Town
The trees are oddnot up but down
They grow from roots in air. Such rare
Strange trees they have in Cambridge Town,
Binary branching ev’rywhere.
—Pumptilian Perniquity


At the talk I attended last week,
There was lots of typologist-speak.
Every construction led
To some other, ’twas said,
But the correlations were real weak.
—Aspergillus Niger


history schmistory
etymological
reflexes surface in
fossilized texts

lexicographical
paleontologists
excavate ancient the-
sauruses rex
—Andrew Lamont

Letters to the Editor
/nuz baɪts/
SpecGram Vol CLXXXI, No 3 Contents