To hear one of the authors (O’ßip) tell it, she’s been excited by evidentials her whole life, a statement confirmed by her mother. The other author (LeButt) only claims a similar level of excitement since the first year of graduate school, but has better evidence (notarized emails provided upon request). All that excitement pales in comparison to the excitement the authors feel (they claim) in being able to share with you, dear reader, their collective collection of current and historical evidentials
[Frankly, we hear it’s more excitement than one can bear, so we’ve split the collection in twain. Part II appears next month. —Eds]
In no particular order, we have:
Any of several heresy evidentials:
A grammatical marker for equine information is a horsey evidential.
A grammatical marker for sore throats is a hoarsy evidential. Also known as a hazy evidential in conjunction with an overdose of cough syrup.
A grammatical marker for reporting speech from Peter Cottontail, Roger Rabbit, the Easter Rabbit, the White Rabbit, the Trix Rabbit, Benjamin Bunny, Br’er Rabbit, the Velveteen Rabbit, Peter Rabbit, the Energizer Bunny, Bugs Bunny, Flopsy, Harvey, and similar entities is a haresay evidential.
A system of grammaticalized markers that convey the quality of a toupée are hairsay evidentials.
A system of grammatical markers that indicate whether or not one is still in the will are heirsay evidentials.
A grammatical marker for reporting gossip concerning events that took place within the last sixty minutes is an hoursay evidential.
A grammatical marker for reporting the speech of Jack Frost, Old Man Winter, Frosty the Snowman, Abominable Snowmen, Hoth Wampa, ice elementals, etc., is a hoarsay evidential.
A grammatical marker that conveys both “are you looking for a good time, big boy?” and “you’re not a cop, are you?” is a whoresay evidential. Similar but not identical to an hourisay evidential.
A grammaticalized deictic for indicating a proximal locus of a speech act is a heresay evidential.
A grammaticalized deictic for indicating a not-
A grammaticalized deictic for indicating an unknown locus of a speech act is a wheresay evidential.
A grammatical marker used for reporting facts observed from a helicopter is a whirsay evidential.
A grammatical marker used to express a salesman’s personal knowledge of the quality of a product is a waresay evidential.
A grammatical marker for indicating the awarding of employment is a hiresay evidential.
A grammatical marker indicating that the speaker heard information that hasn’t been spoken yet is a Whosay evidential. A grammatical marker for indicating indignance about an unknown speech source is a whosay evidential. A grammatical marker indicating disgust at the grammar of the previous sentence is a whomsay evidential.