The sad tale of an equine they tell,
’Twas the focus of each examp-ell,
’Til each textbook and course,
Did abuse that poor horse—
That horse raced past the barn door ... fell.
—Morris Swadesh III
Perhaps some vowel reductions
Are caused by oral obstructions,
But Lax, weak, or lenis,
All forms of such wee-ness
Lead only to language destruction!
There was a young prof so benighted,
He never knew when he was slighted;
At colloquia, cheery,
He’d spout off his theory,
As though he were really invited.
—P. Ublekkdeaux Meign
Intrative ablative delative?
Sublative allative elative—
Locative prolative perlative!
To something I must now confess:
The dolts saying fewer for less,
And amount but not number
—How it makes them sound “dum-ber”!—
Cause rage that I cannot suppress!
—Priss K. Riptoff
All linguists should share terminology,
Like σύνταξη;1 likewise морфологи,2
But Welshmen speak blithely
Now, that there demands an apology!
—α-Betty Abū Gida
1 Modern Greek syntax.
2 Chuvash morphology.
3 Welsh linguistics.