Pragmatics!? Oh dear, is that science??
Can we tame what we mean to compliance
With the forms and/or functions
Of aseptic concoctions
Which have earned us the grants of our clients?!
—Cailín na Luimní
Some fricatives hiss like a cat
And others, they shush just like that,
In turbulent sound
And noise they abound,
With bands where their spectrum’s near flat.
There once pondered a typologist, weak and weary
Upon an eldritch grammar of Light Warlpiri
But as he nodded, nearly napping
There came upon the window, tapping:
Some damn bird ravin’ at his theory.
—Mannfrum van Tuckett
There once was an old syntactician
Whose theories had come to fruition
To describe any clause
He would shout without pause
“That’s a matter of simple addition.”
When first you learn how to babble,
What comes out is nothing but gabble.
Mutter and mumble,
Words all a-jumble,
With em-pha-sis on any syl-lab-le.
There was a young man of Japan
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He replied “It’s because
I always try to fit as many syllables into the last line as I can.”
—Anonymous, the Prosodologist