Fall1 is in the air. Just as glorious color bursts forth outside our office windows, so do new ideas explode in the brains of our contributors.
The astute2 reader will have noticed the recrudescence3 of the excellent4 series, “Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know” over the last several issues. This is of course a cause for celebration.5 In addition to another fine installment of that series, this number contains some truly6 important articles, with an earth-
Unfortunately, there is no article in this issue from Claude Searsplainpockets. The erstwhile anthropological linguist has been confined to Arkham Asylum after slapping a policeman in the face with a fat herring.10 In spite of this sad development, we remain confident that you will love this edition as much as its predecessors.11
1 ˙ǝɹǝɥdsıɯǝH uɹǝɥʇnoS ǝɥʇ uı spuǝıɹɟ ɹno ɹoɟ ‘ƃuıɹds ɹO
2 The adjective astute, as usual in this context, means “moderately awake”.
3 Look it up, lazybones!
4 Though disheartening.i
5 Unless you are a lackluster student, living in fearii of seeing your own “pearl of wisdom” appear in these hallowediii pages.
7 Not literally. At least not literally literally.v
8 Just a little bit lesser. Not like socio-level lesser.vi
9 Like, Diana Ross–supremely.
11 We certainly do.vii
i We have recently received a new Voetnoot Footnotator from IKEA. It makes footnoting easier than ever.a I have to admit that I love it beyond words.b
ii Quite rightly.
or hollowed. Hard to tell.c
iv p < 0.002 d
v Is it not sad that literally is losing its literal meaning? At least we have reduplicative emphasis!e
vi No offense.f
vii Almost as much as I love the Voetnoot.i, f, *, g
a Can you tell?
b Can you tell?*
c There are reports of metaphorical termites infesting our rhetoric.†
d y = β0 + β1*x + ε ‡
e Y’know, for emphasis emphasis.
f Just sayin’.
g Man, that thing is awesome.§
† Though the entire journal did recently pass an oratorial inspection.
§ Truly6 awesome.‖
‖ Beyond words.¶
¶ And don’t you even think about mentioning “foot and note disease.” ♥, ♣, ♦, ♠
♥ It isn’t nice.
♣ It isn’t true.
♦ It would make me angry.
♠ I know where you live.