The Elizabethan Canuck: Linguistic Proof of Shakespeare’s Canadian Ancestry—Book Announcement from Psammeticus Press SpecGram Vol CLXIV, No 4 Contents

Anglomorphic Cuneiform and Puzzle Solution

Trey Jones
l’École de SpecGram, Washington D.C.

In the last issue, we offered a mildly amusing puzzle; the task given was to decipher the apparently “anglomorphic” Kenduzandi cuneiform found in the imageprovided by the Weyland Tiberius Flanderklieg Archivesof the stone tablet accompanying the mytholingual tale “Why Princes are not Scribes, and the Rat Eats Grain”.

Of course the correlation between the Kenduzandi cuneiform and alphabetic letter forms is amusing, but ultimately ridiculous. To give it the respect it deserves, we got a fourth grader to outline the letters in marker. (To really give it the respect it deserves, we should have gotten a second grader to do it, but we couldn’t find a second grader with enough Greek on such short notice.) Thanks to Kevin Bickelson for helping us out! Kevin’s original is hanging on the fridge in the editor’s lounge at the SpecGram main offices. A reproduction is provided below.

For those with limited alphabetic imagination, here are the “words” “found” “hidden” in the Kenduzandi cuneiform:

    Fryggyn’
Phonē
Σπεκουλάτωρ Γραμματεύς
Χάοpunctum
Sumeria sucks
It is ubiliki that you have done
[redacted]
Because regular SpecGram
     articles are too accessible
Θωθ
Cthulhu
Nulifaka

Our lawyers made us include this next bit: This work is licensed by Speculative Grammarian under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 3.0 United States License (CC BY-NC 3.0).

Of the thousands of submissions we received, the following linguarcheological masterminds stood out, with bigram recall and precision scores ranging from 70% to 98%, and F-Measure scores from 70% to 90%. In order from highest to somewhat less high score:

Despite circumstantial evidence of Whitford-related collusion and possible improper information sharing, each winner will receive a SpecGram magnet of their choice.

It has also been suggested that some might enjoy expanding on this anglomorphic cuneiform theme, and producing their own stone tablets, t-shirts, or other amusing but ultimately ridiculous scribblings. To that end, we are hereby providing a set of ready-to-use anglomorphic cuneiform charactersLatin and Greek, uppercase and lowercase. Every letter of both alphabets is available, though not necessarily in both upper- and lowercase forms.

And, just in case the SpecGram Art Department has been sleeping on the job again, and the intended letters aren’t abundantly clear, here is a handy key to the characters provided. Some characters, like “C”, could be used as lowercase or uppercase, with just a little resizing. These are indicated as “Cc” and the like.

A  B  Cc  D  E  F  G  g
h  h  i  J  Kk  L  l  Mm
n  Oo  Pp  Q  q  R  Ss
Tt  Uu  Vv  Ww  Xx  Yy  Zz
Α  Β  Γ  δ  Ε  ε  Ζ  η
Θ  θ  Ι  Κκ  Λ  λ  Μ  μ
ν  Ξ  Οο  Ππ  Ρ  ρ  Σ  σ  ς
Ττ  Υ  υ  Φφ  Χχ  Ψ  ω
acute, grave, quote/comma, macron; circumflex,
   haček; brackets; misc decorations

Please drop us a line if you use these lovely anglomorphic cuneiform in your own projects. Enjoy!

The Elizabethan Canuck: Linguistic Proof of Shakespeare’s Canadian AncestryBook Announcement from Psammeticus Press
SpecGram Vol CLXIV, No 4 Contents