Are* your data feeling tense? Unable or Reluctant to bend gently to fit the graceful contours of your new theory? Are your N’s too small? Your P’s too big? Decimal point in the wrong place? Is your Chi not square? Is your bell curve not ringing true?
We at the Swiss Data Massage Villa are here to help. Think of your DMV as your first stop on the way to academic brilliance and international acclaim.
After you stand in the appropriate line for the requisite amount of time, a friendly DMV representative will accept your data, take them into a back room, Draize them with generous amounts of Kolmogorov–
Your data will emerge relaxed, flexible, and ready to cooperate. Stop by today!
* At the DMV, all data are treated as plural, and all are welcome here without regard to type, field, discreteness, veracity or manner of generation, and we ask no pesky questions about HSRB or ownership. We are here to help YOU!
|The Speculative Grammarian Essential Guide to Linguistics
|SpecGram Vol CLXVIII, No 1 Contents|