My hound said to me, “You’re a cad,
You smell, and you dress really bad,
And I got the skinny,
From down in New Guinea,
That your Doga is shamefully bad.”
A linguist was driven to distraction
By an angry competitive faction,
He was saved by a friend,
Who his troubles did end,
By urging still greater abstraction.
—Morris Swadesh III
There’s a sound I’ve heard linguists say
That is not in the new IPA
If you give it much thought
You will let out a snort
—Col. O. Nihilist
A comp’tational linguist of Boston
A two-horned dilemma was tossed on,
To know whether ’twere best
As a rich Googler out West
Or a poor gen’rativist in Boston.
—Anonymous, the Computational Linguist
Your grammar and morals are lax:
I’m fed up of these verbal attacks.
Revenge will be mine!
I will levy a fine,
And you’ll pay a hefty syntax.
There once was a bright Қазақ қыз
Who found speaking English қызықсыз.
She often would try it
But would end with a sigh at
How its glories remained айтқысыз.