I found the recent SpecGram article on the Doom/
Of course, this theory leads to an even greater mystery. If the text is indeed an IPA transcription (perhaps inadvertently left by a fieldworker inside a book), what language does it represent? The phoneme inventory suggests that the recorded language was characterised by a large vowel inventory (many of its words consist of three vowels but no consonants), a complex system of rounded and unrounded back vowels (but, oddly enough, few front vowels), and a complete absence of voiceless coronals or nasals of any sort (oddly enough, “rare” phonemes such as voiced palatal stops appear widespread). The existence of such an asymmetrical language would surely threaten all of our current assumptions about phonology. Could this be the reason that the linguist who had originally stumbled upon it decided to hide the evidence forever?
Dear Editors of the once reputable journal SpecGram,
I am disappointed that you have published another politically incorrect faux pas from that once reputable and reputably intrepid linguistic explorer, Claude Searsplainpockets, and his poor, poor wife, Helga neé von Helganschtein. Wasn’t the labio-
Do the Searsplainpocketses not realize that their early conclusions from their work among the Tʷɪči lead to linguistic eugenics? And who is to decide that the Tʷɪči language is less fit, and in what linguistic environment? The Oboioboioboiwikantsitstil suffer extreme penalties in terms of efficiency and efficacy of communication because of their non-
Dear Northman Supersmut Sniffysnout,Enough with petty slights against our good friends Claude and Helga! And we’re not just saying that because they donated over a million unspecified units of currency to the SpecGram Trust Fund just last week. Their work is as reliable as it ever was, and both inspired and inspiring! You knowingly overstate the difficulty of the labio-
As for linguistic eugenics, you have leaped across the line between descriptive and prescriptive approaches to linguistic evolutionary fitness, haven’t you? What kind of linguist are you? Disgusting!
Speculative Grammarian accepts well-