Notice of Services Offered
In a bold and innovative move, we at Peculative Grammarian1 are offering the services of our cadre of trained academic and extra-academic linguists, linguisticians, philologists, and assorted camp followers as public lecturers on any topic the client might see fit to assign. Past efforts include:
- The Oxford Comma and the Insuperable Theoretical Failings of Minimalism
- Applications of Adaptive Dispersion Theory to Speech in Helium-Rich Atmospheres
- A Sociolinguistic Study of Romance Loanwords in Self-Published Erotica
- The Rise of Lexicalism and the Spread of EST-Resistant Aphasia: A Clinical Study of Modern Linguistics
- Formalism and Totalitarianism: The Linguistic Underpinnings of a Century of Mass Murder
- The Obligatory Contour Principle: Its Seeds and their Gemination, Anti and Anti-Anti
In addition, we have a massive, well-stocked database of word stocks and glosses that enables our lecturers to give talks on the putative genetic affiliations of any pair of languages drawn from the 1,463 world languages represented in our corpora. No longer need you have recourse to over-ambitious amateurs drawn from the less rigorous hard sciences or dirt farming—we do this for a living!
Moreover, as many of our lecturers almost completed degrees in numerous other disciplines, we are also able to offer credible and creditable lectures on such subjects as:
- Petaurista xanthotis and the Long March: A Little-Known Episode of Modern Chinese History
- The New Historicism: Modern Irrationalism Garbed in Academic Robes
- Newton’s Third Law and Newton’s Socinianism: The Fatal Contradiction
- Marsilio of Padua, Hugo Grotius, and Bowling Leagues: Problems of Authority, Hierarchy, and Voluntary Assembly in a Modern Context
- Religious-Based Infant Daycare in Pre-Roman Carthage: Anatomy of a Policy Failure
For further information, please contact the head of our marketing bureau: Femme Fitzlegitima.
Rates available upon request.
1 Not affiliated in any way, shape, or form with Speculative Grammarian.