We all (or, at least those of us who stayed awake in high school chemistry) are familiar with chemical elements like sodium (atomic number 11, symbol Na) and chlorine (atomic number 17, symbol Cl), but most of us (even those of us who failed out of chemistry in college
The International Cabal of Pure and Applied Linguistics has been keeping an eye on the International Union of Pure and Applied Chemistry, which uses a set of systematic rules for giving official names to as-yet-
There is biocttrium (element 283, symbol Bot) which is clearly a superior material for creating cute, possibly anime-
Expect a series of elements to revolutionize the development of prosthetics in elective plastic surgery, including biuntritrium, bioctoctbium, and triunsepthexium (atomic numbers 2133, 2882, 3176, respectively, with symbols Butt, Boob, and Tush).
Element 5885, pentoctoctpentium (symbol Poop) will, when synthesized, be an ideal material for waste containment units, while hexunhexium (atomic number 616, symbol Huh) will be found to cause confusion in those who come in contact with it.
It may only be possible to enact significant, cross-
Of even more interest to the linguisticians, element 39709
The even more massive octnilseptenntrium (atomic number 80793, symbol Onset) will likely prove useful to metrical phonologists who need to create super-
We predict that after the successful synthesis of trihexennseptennseptium (atomic number 369797, symbol Theses), all future PhD dissertations will be required to be made of compounds of this element.
Naturally, element 280280, bioctnilbioctnilium, with symbol Bonbon, will be delicious.
Despite being of unknowable chemical composition, super heavy element 39018170977, triennilunoctunseptnilennseptseptium (symbol Tenuousness), will be discovered to moderate the relationship between data and theory in linguistics.
Finally, the ultra-
We believe that this valuable information will allow linguarians and philologists alike to invest in the upcoming chemical revolution, since their linguistics degrees won't be doing them any favors in the meantime out on the job market.