In an unprecedented move, the European Union formed a new department last week called the European Linguistic Academy. The purpose of this new department is to scour the vocabularies of languages spoken within the EU’s borders and to eradicate words that may be considered politically incorrect. Its first move as a new regulatory body was to demand the banning of the word negro from the Castilian language.
Needless to say, the members of the Real Academia Española were none too happy with this decision. Speculative Grammarian was fortunate enough to get an interview with a member of the Academia. Out of fear of retaliation from the ELA, our interviewee asked not to be named. We will call him José Miguel Serraro de las Andes y Martina Guérez.
“[The members of the Academia] just don’t understand it,” Guérez pled to our sympathetic interviewer. “We get to decide what usages stay in Castellano, not those guys. If we want to use negro for black, that’s our business! This is worse than the time someone proposed renaming cars vavavúmobilos.”
Indeed. It is much worse. According to the official statement from the ELA, “the term negro is considered to be bad taste in the United States, since the term black became the preferred, politically correct term in the mid-
The Portuguese, who are always looking for a way to rile up their neighbors to the East, have been reputed to say, “We tried to convince the Spanish to change their racist language. As the old adage goes, ‘Spaniards are like a stubborn stain: You’re never sure where they come from, but you know they’ll never come
 The ELA has informed Speculative Grammarian that the term Spanish is considered politically incorrect due to the fact that there are many languages which are native to Spain. The term Castilian should be used in this context. Or else.
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