[As most of our readers know, the SpecGram Letters Editors work very, very hard
While I enjoy reading your publication, I must say that I feel it is sadly behind the times. While more and more journals are accepting submissions in languages such as French, German, Klingon and Dothraki, your journal only ever seems to publish English pieces. Isn’t this a bit odd, considering you are a linguistics publication? Are non-
Dr B. D. I. Lucan
Assistant Professor of Lost Causes
Casus Belli University
Douto Bêdê & Lucan,
Então chamas-te Look, Ã?, e não viste o Rizzoto Belletti da Maraci Rubin, pá? É porque a autora é mulher, e tu só consomes artigos de homem? Ã?
Maria V. Luz Nobre de Requeijão Professora Auxiliada, Chefe da Cadeira de Vai com as Outras
Departamento de Estudos Genéricos de Género Universidade de Peixe Espada à Quinta
Speculative Grammarian accepts well-
Dear Mister Ed,
Why do you insist on receiving, publishing and replying to Letters to the Editor in your otherwise flawlessly scholarly journal?
No letter or reply has yet contributed to enlightenment in satirical linguisticity, nay!, linguistical satiricity. I see no point in saddling spirited readers like me with letters considering amendments and replies amending considerations, or vice versa.
The point is that your first consideration will be amended before publication. Meanwhile, your refrain is rejected forthwith, for lack of linguistic relevance both to the journal and the contents of your Letter to the Editor.
The Chair on our Editorial Hinny,
Dear Herr Thor, Eddy
In reply to the small print in your Phonetics Fanatics Gazette ad, I have now the informants for your latest ‘In Vivo Veritas’ formant experiment after the required surgery chloroformed. They are ready for collection. Upon awakening, their transitional productions will statistically (in)significant F0 ... Fn values of your choice from your previous publications match, as per your request.
With many Greetings,
von und zu Dickkopf, Doktor Moreaun
Dear Thick To and Fro [© TraduttoreTradittoreOnline™]
This is the 404th error message we receive and that’s all we know.
(For) The Editors, away at SpecGram’s Mingle&Tingle Corporate Event,