Linguimericks—Book १७ SpecGram Vol CLXXII, No 3 Contents Incalculable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know—Madalena Cruz-Ferreira

Linguist Fashion Week
A Report from the Field

Prof. Trent Slater
Senior Fellow of Tweed Understatement

The great and the good of the linguistics fashion world gathered in Roam last week for Linguist Fashion Week. The event, the largest of its kind anywhere in the world, drew an audience larger than happy hour in the dictionary room. For five days (and two further days of squabbling over the semantic range of the word “week”), collections from fashion houses as diverse as Kelvin Decline and Eve Sans Morphome were on show.

The first piece that caught my eye was an all-brown ensemble from up-and-coming name Al Exender YourMonarch. He sent models down the catwalk in brown tailored tweed jackets, brown patched tweed waistcoats over brown woollen shirts and brown corduroy trousers. Perfect for the conference or just for putting undergraduates off their lunch, this four-piece outfit is sure to be the envy of all your colleagues. I certainly look forward to wearing it when I address my department at the next holiday barbecue.

More daring, however, was the Kelvin Decline number, which included a tweed jacket over bright green corduroys and leather sandals over white socks. This wild concept formed the theme for Decline’s entire menswear collection this year, and even overshadowed the usual anticipation for his comic ties collection. Accessorising this outfit with outrageously bright shirts and/or a polo shirt with your university logo is sure to make you catch the eye of any passerby.

Eve Sans Morphome broke away from tradition, sending his menswear models out in no corduroy whatsoever! Instead, he offered us a wide array of slacks in fawn, sunshine yellow, pinky-peach and vampire grey. On top, he moved away from his previous preference for sunset orange shirts, instead offering a wonderful selection of pastels.

The week ended with the traditional highlight, the perfume and hairstyle showcase. Here again, there was a pleasing tension between tradition and innovation. Baldness was favoured by the majority of designers, with the odd Einsteinian tousled look on show too. However, Wee Dale Baboon offered one-side wedge and middle partings too.

In the fragrance section, Old Yellow Paper and Publication #5 were again top draws but a new perfume called “Tenure Clout” is sure to make a splash soon at a conference near you.

LinguimericksBook १७
Incalculable Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t KnowMadalena Cruz-Ferreira
SpecGram Vol CLXXII, No 3 Contents