[While going through the Language Made Difficult archives, we discovered a series of advertisements from Captain Mills that never made it to air. Our lawyers know us well, so they threw in a clause that wouldn’t make us give the money back if we published the ad copy before our sponsor noticed. That’s quite fortunate, as we’ve already spent the money providing the LMD talent, who are smart enough to insert their own vowels, with Abjad Bits from one of our sponsor’s competitors. The first ad is below. —Eds.]
Warning: Swallow completely before attempting ingressive consonants.