/nuz baɪts/ SpecGram Vol CLXXVIII, No 1 Contents Allophonia...—Leonard Conasal

Linguimericks
Book ३८

When funds for her research Liz sought her,
Its sponsorship offered a bottler.
“Oh, hellfire!” she said,
“I asked for some bread
But all that they gave me was water.”
—Pumptilian Perniquity


All our theories succeed as they do
’Cause we make up our data. It’s true!
This might seem quite strange,
Until it’s explained
That most linguists are fictional, too.
—Morris Swadesh III


I punctuate prose and verse randomly
And dɪsregard rules and sense tandemly
So no comma or dot
Nary tɪttle nor ȷot
But chance worked that way most unfathomly
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster


Always remember that case
Is not just one thing in one place.
In the Caucasus it’s
Often made out of bits
No matter what anyone Tsez.
—Pete Bleackley


Harmonic Grammar
dominance schmominance
prominence promises
privileged positions re-
gardless of rank

cumulativity
proffers equality,
harmony, peace just by
joining a gang
—Andrew Lamont




/nuz baɪts/
Allophonia...Leonard Conasal
SpecGram Vol CLXXVIII, No 1 Contents