I would like to extend my heartfelt congratulations to our sister in arms Lea Kim Shopmont, for her lucid Notes on Sociophonology, and to yourself, for publishing this piece. It is a rare privilege to be allowed to read like-
On the specific matter of vowel height correlating with social standing, I wish to confirm my esteemed colleague’s suspicion that only primitive societies will eschew phonemic justice. My own research reveals that Scandinavian countries, reputed for their absence of overt sex demarcations, have predictably succeeded in eradicating patriarchal vocalic iniquity from their languages. In Swedish, for example, the female-
Eradicating overt sex demarcations is our thing too: we are all for promoting degenderated language uses. The latest piece of evidence is in a recent issue, where we take “He” to mean “Each player”. Like you, we believe that claiming that “He” is a sexist form of reference is a sexist form of sexism.
I saw in a recent issue that that rapscallion Allen Halfermain is using the “L.E.A.” honorific after his name. He has not paid his dues in over two years, and as such is no longer a member in good standing of the League of Extraordinary Archaeologists. Please let me know where I may find him, so that I can beat out of him that which he owes us.
Dear Shislock’s Brother,
Due to an unfortunate contractual error, we paid Prof. Solvi T. Perverbum
Speculative Grammarian accepts well-