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Ockham’s “Nay, Sir!”

Do you get tired of responding to ridiculous and tangential questions from friends and colleagues which your busy scheduleand frankly the sheer inanity of the questionerprevents you from engaging with?

The all new Ockham’s “Nay, sir!” device allows the busy professional to address all manner of off-topic, irrelevant and badly-phrased questions at a single push of a parsimonious button. Simply depress the Ockham button on your Ockham’s “Nay, sir!” device and it will offer up a firm “Nay, sir” to your would-be interlocutor. Choose from a range of voice settings including Kant, Hegel and John Duns Scotus. And, if your annoying interlocutor self-identifies as a woman, select the Wilhelmina of Ockham setting and your device will respond “Nay, ma’am!” There could be no simpler way of putting off those pesky questioners and getting on with your day.

Ockham’s “Nay, sir!” device has proven popular with government agencies, academics and utility suppliers. In a recent survey, 67% of PhD supervisors reported that their use of the Ockham’s “Nay, sir!” device reduced supervision meetings by up to 23%.

Don’t delay, sir!
Buy today, sir!
“Must”, not “may”, sir!
Join the fray, sir!
You’ll agree, sir,
It’s OK, sir.
Makes your day, sir!
Ockham’s “Nay, sir!”

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SpecGram Vol CLXXXIII, No 2 Contents