Poetry Index Page 1

Below is a listing of all of the poems and songs on the SpecGram website, listed alphabetically by author.

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A B C D E F G H I J K L  |  M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

A Authors ^
Abū Gida, α-Betty
> An Adaptation to the Cognitive Niche Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.4 April 2024
> All hail to our muse, great Nan Tucket... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.3 July 2016
> All linguists should share terminology... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.2 February 2016
> Cackalackadaisical Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.4 June 2019
> Dub-a-dunk. Dub-a-dunk. Dub-a-dunk... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.1 July 2024
> For the best of phonetical thrills... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.2 December 2019
> An /h/-droppin’ linguist in Youston... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIII.3 July 2015
> I am a big fan of recursion!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> A linguist with many ideas anti-Chomsky... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.3 July 2014
> Mavens—so quick to denunciate... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.1 January 2016
> O Copier! My Copier! Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.1 May 2017
> She’s been told he’s The Linguist Almighty... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.2 February 2017
> Short Southern vowels will get broken... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.1 January 2015
> Urging linguists to chase academia... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.2 December 2017
> A young linguist named Maudible... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.2 June 2014
 
Adnerb, Brennon
> At the LSA Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.2 December 2019
 
Allen, Bryan
> Dissection Speculative Grammarian CL.1 January 2005
> A Poem Puzzle Speculative Grammarian CLXIV.1 February 2012
 
Anonymous
> An Introduction to Linguistics in Haiku Form Speculative Grammarian CLIX.4 September 2010
> ODE TO ALCUIN Speculative Grammarian CLVI.2 April 2009
> Old Man Chomsky Better Words and Morphemes I.3 May 1991
> Pull Over That æ Too Back Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.1 November 2012
> Syntax Hole Better Words and Morphemes I.3 May 1991
> There once was an X from place B Speculative Grammarian CLX.1 October 2010
> Untitled (Two asp really candies lithe eat oaves) Langue du Monde XVI.4 September 1991
> A Yonge Philologiste's First Drynkynge Poime Speculative Grammarian CL.1 January 2005
> Your Glottal Stop Better Words and Morphemes I.3 May 1991
 
Anonymous, The Animal Communication Researcher
> There once was a curate of Kew... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.4 October 2019
 
Anonymous, the Backformologist
> Said a miser who sordidly mised... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.2 June 2014
 
Anonymous, the Child Language Aquisitionist
> Some triplets who live in Pará... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.3 July 2014
 
Anonymous, the Classicist Code Switcher
> Erat Romanorum dictator... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.1 May 2014
 
Anonymous, the Computational Linguist
> A comp’tational linguist of Boston... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.3 March 2015
 
Anonymous, the Formal Semanticist
> There once was an X from place B... Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.3 March 2014
 
Anonymous, the Metrical Phonologist
> Of unstable footing young Yates... Speculative Grammarian CLXXI.4 December 2014
 
Anonymous, the Prosodologist
> There was a young man of Japan... Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.1 January 2014
 
Anonymous, the Speech Pathologist
> A man who lisped said to me: “Wunθ... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.2 February 2015
 
Antwerp, Alex A.
> An inspired freshman linguist cried, “Aaaah!...” Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
 
Anwyth, Onfor
> The Ballad of Three-Tongued Ted Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.2 December 2019
 
Arcadopoulou, Arcadia
> There once was a teacher from Rome... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.2 September 2022
 
Auld-Boomah, Krotchet E.
> Now They’re Killing Grammatical Distinctions Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.4 October 2018
 

B Authors ^
Bad Boy Balthazar
> Some mages (from th’East, past the junction)... Speculative Grammarian CXC.1 April 2021
 
Beckel, Samuett
> Pozzo arrive, et il dit... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.1 July 2024
 
Bee, Golda
> My treatise on meaning in lingo-philosophy... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
 
Bell, Leonidas Jefferson
> Ode to Cows Speculative Grammarian CLXXVII.ο Mid-October 2016
 
Bémol, Frédéric François
> A man once wrote a copious tome... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
 
Bernstein-Hodson, Thomas Basil Callan
> O Socio, Socio! Wherefore art thou Socio? Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.4 March 2013
 
Bertha the Cake Cuddler
> If someone thinks colourless green... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.2 October 2021
 
Bhoomer, Bhaby
> The Point of Articulation Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.3 September 2019
 
Biden, Ng
> Ode to the Pedagogical Affordances of Government and Binding Theory for the Promotion of Syntactical Education and Awareness Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.2 October 2023
 
Bird, J. L.
> A Prison Officer in the Syntax Jail Staff Cafeteria Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
 
Bleackley, Pete
> Always remember that case... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.1 January 2017
> Ambiguous statements appal... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.3 December 2022
> Analytical language is flat... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.4 February 2019
> As fond as I am of linguini... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIV.3 November 2015
> At the end of a hard working day... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.4 April 2015
> By pedants we’ve often been taught... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.3 September 2019
> Conlanging I know not a thing on... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIII.1 May 2015
> Doctor Johnson, as quick as a wink... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIV.2 October 2015
> An Englishman, hitting the bottle... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIV.1 September 2015
> A fear that I get shortly after... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIII.3 July 2015
> A field linguist fears there are bugs... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.2 June 2016
> Fleeing from dictats draconian... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.1 July 2019
> The Freelance Computational Linguist’s Lament Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.1 November 2019
> A grammar purported to show... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.1 March 2019
> The hazard of writing a triolet... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.4 April 2016
> I know a conlanger who screams... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.1 May 2016
> I often get trapped in the bath... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIII.4 August 2015
> I taught a gorilla to sign... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.1 January 2016
> I wish I’d ne’er taken the task... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.2 February 2017
> If reading in runes is a task... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
> I’ll no longer go by four wheels... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.4 November 2020
> Indecency everything taints... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.3 January 2019
> It’s an alien language, it seems... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.3 January 2024
> I’ve just heard a polyglot moan... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVII.1 September 2016
> The life of a couple named Bement... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.2 September 2022
> A limerick, weighed ounce for ounce... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.2 June 2017
> A linguist exclaimed with invective... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.1 November 2018
> A linguist went out on a bender... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.4 October 2018
> A linguist with whom I did sup... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVII.4 December 2016
> A millipede said, “I am beat!...” Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.4 June 2019
> My career choices must be reversed... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
> My students can be argumentative... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> My theory, I thought, was profound... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.4 March 2022
> Our regular column of verse... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
> Our script lacks the letters to mark... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
> Philologists & Linguists Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.2 August 2019
> A quarrel that’s hard to extinguish... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.2 October 2023
> A Researcher’s Tale Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.3 January 2020
> Romance Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
> Roses are red... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.3 May 2019
> Row non-rhotic boats... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.1 June 2023
> A sad lexicographer spoke... Speculative Grammarian CXC.3 June 2021
> Some say that my tongue’s analytic... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.3 March 2016
> A test of your linguistic bottle... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.3 March 2017
> There once was a Franciscan friar... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> There once was a linguist called Noam... Speculative Grammarian CLXXI.2 October 2014
> There once was a neogrammarian... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.4 August 2016
> There once was a scholar named Gandhi... Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.4 April 2014
> There once were some NLP nerds... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.4 August 2014
> There was an old fellow from SIL... Speculative Grammarian CLXVIII.4 December 2013
> This essay I worked on all night... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.1 July 2024
> This paper you’ve given to me... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.2 October 2021
> This student should really have paid... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.1 March 2020
> *Twinkle, twinkle, little star... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.3 August 2017
> Unstressed vowels your words will not ornament... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
> Van Orman Quine may think he’s funny... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.2 April 2018
> We follow a simple template... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.1 November 2017
> A website made claims that we knew... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.3 December 2021
> Whatever you happen to chat in... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.1 September 2021
> When Roget first wrote his Thesaurus... Speculative Grammarian CLXVIII.2 October 2013
> A wizard declared, “Very well!...” Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.4 March 2021
> Your grammar and morals are lax... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.3 March 2015
 
Bliffle-K’Taargh, Irene
> The publishing game can be farcical... Speculative Grammarian CXC.3 June 2021
 
Blister, Sr
> The Viva concluded thus, “Very nice...” Speculative Grammarian CXC.1 April 2021
 
Bop, Frank
> It really is quite a long chore... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.3 December 2022
 
Bosch, Homonymus
> There was a young man from St. Paul... Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.3 February 2013
> A Tutor who tooted the flute... Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.3 February 2013
> Two Poemes from the Archivium Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.3 February 2013
 
Bothersome, Prof
> Welcome, freshmen, to the world... Speculative Grammarian CXC.1 April 2021
 
Bouchard, Virginia
> Aye wants when too college at Skidmore... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.3 May 2018
> “Is this your book?” a Welshman did pry... Speculative Grammarian CLXXI.3 November 2014
> There once was a bright chap named Norbert... Speculative Grammarian CLXVIII.3 November 2013
> There was a fine linguist who wanted to sleep... Speculative Grammarian CLXXI.4 December 2014
> There was once was a linguist whose strong point wasn’t brevity, man I mean he could go on for a while!... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.4 August 2014
 
Boudreaux, Margeaux
> Beware of those friends who are faux... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.4 April 2015
> Beware of those friends who are faux... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIII.4 August 2015
> Beware of those friends who are faux... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIV.3 November 2015
> Beware of those friends who are faux... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.2 April 2019
 
Brussels, Bruce B.
> The best monophthong—and by far... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
 
Bucolicus, Betrand
> She sat down to compose a short idyll... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.4 March 2021
 
Burns, Rasmus
> My Love is Like a Colorless Green Simile Speculative Grammarian CLXIV.2 March 2012
 
Buzzworth, Joe
> The Field Philologist Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.4 June 2020
 

C Authors ^
Cairns, Carly C.
> As we worship the gods of the schwas... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
 
Capulet, Juliet
> I was enraptured, Sirs, when, on my screen... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.2 April 2020
 
Case, Justin
> Intrative ablative delative?... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.2 February 2016
 
Chestikov, Gott. A.
> A PhD student called Emma... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIV.3 November 2015
 
Collins, Christine
> λ♥[love] (Linguistics Love Song) Speculative Grammarian CLXII.1 June 2011
 
Conasal, Leonard
> Allophonia... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.1 January 2017
 
Crater, Zoë
> “What have humans not already written t?”... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.1 January 2015
 
Crick-ette
> A century without loss of wicket!... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
 
Crippen, James
> How They Do It In Linguistics Speculative Grammarian CLV.3 December 2008
 
Cumm-Pleat, Ian
> Godel cried ‘It’s incomplete!...’ Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
 

D Authors ^
Davis, Emily
> Don’t study haiku... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.1 July 2019
> Don’t study the limerick poem... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.1 November 2019
> Glancingly, lit’rally... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.2 April 2020
> Jiggery pokery, / Don’t study dactyls... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.3 January 2020
> Never try to write a triolet... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.3 September 2019
> O ling-u-o-lab-i-al trill!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.1 November 2019
> There once was a Fellow from Ockham... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> A versatile grapheme is ⟨E⟩... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
> When lecturing on infixation... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.4 June 2020
> A wonderful thing is haplology... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.3 May 2019
> You theorists had better behave... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
 
D’D’Dee-Dee, Dee-Deedles
> Ode to Reduplication Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
 
D’Dee-Dee-Dee-Dee, Deedles
> Four Points for Linguistics Speculative Grammarian CXCI.3 December 2021
 
D’Dee, Deedles
> Discontinuities Speculative Grammarian CXCII.2 September 2022
> Good Ol’ Quantization: An Ode to Manfred Krifka Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
> I’m Here! Speculative Grammarian CXC.3 June 2021
> The Linguolabial Stops Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.3 September 2019
> Lord of the Rhymes Speculative Grammarian CXCII.1 June 2022
> A mark of sublime ingenuity... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
> Name Dropping ~ Noam Dropping Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
> Ode to -e Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
> Ode to Reduplication Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
> Ode to RRG Speculative Grammarian CXC.1 April 2021
> Ode to Suppletion Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.4 November 2020
> A Poem About Syntax, Discontinuities In Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.1 June 2023
> Semiotica Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> Sign Fever Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> To be or too many be-s Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.1 March 2020
 
de Aittste-Oudénnts, Gérard
> A student linguist who just turned 19... Speculative Grammarian CLXXII.2 February 2015
 
de Vivre, Joie
> You say potato, I say pomme de terre... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
 
Deak Vinci, Leonardo
> Cranberry Panic Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> The Universe seems to be One... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
 
Deakens, Charles
> An acute and a grave met for sex... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
> Cliticisation Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> Ockham first bought a large house in Dover... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> Ockham first bought in Burton-on-Trent... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> What’s syntax? Words in combination... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.3 January 2019
 
Deakins, Gerard Manley
> Ag-glut-in-ation Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> A circumflex met with a caron... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
> The limerick, with which we play... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> On the Bridge of CP-Doom Speculative Grammarian CXC.2 May 2021
 
Deakinson, Emily
> Occam to Entities Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> “Well, hello there, Professor Morphology!...” Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
 
Deakspeare, William
> God save the gracious Sign!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
> If entities shouldn’t be more... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> I’m about half thru PhD... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.1 March 2019
> In ‘Socrates seems to be pink’... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.4 June 2019
> Mary, that sweet shepherdess from childhood, had a little lamb-... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.4 October 2019
> My father was quite analytic... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> Sonnet 116(v2) Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
 
Deakspersen, Jens Otto Harry
> That scholar from Randers, Jens Jespersen... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
 
Deaksworth, William
> A cohort of philologists... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.2 April 2019
> Constructions arranged on a cline... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.3 May 2019
> ‘The head of the sentence is I’?... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.2 December 2019
> I love—I adore!—affixation—... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.4 November 2020
> I’m in love with a twinny diaeresis... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.2 January 2021
> It’s good to be highly theoretical... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.1 November 2019
> Morpheme-land was invaded one day... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> A non-standard Westron was Smeagol’s... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.4 February 2019
> Now I’m not sure that Chomsky was right... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.1 July 2019
> What do we mean by pragmatics?... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.4 June 2020
> When first I encountered x-bar... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.2 April 2020
> Where might the stress be on limericist?... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.1 March 2020
 
Deakyson, Alfred
> If you wish to read Arabic well... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
> It’s the razor of Ockham! Hooray!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> Now, how to define a morpheme... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
 
Dedd, Brian
> A performance of Measure for Measure... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.4 April 2024
 
Денег, Недостаточно
> And he managed to even outfox... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> Displaying high fieldwork ability... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.3 August 2017
> “Ой, я помню,” he said with a grin... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.1 November 2019
> Prosodic terminology... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.1 July 2018
> Some disciplines’ students, all agogs... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.2 December 2017
> There once was a friar named William... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> The twins clashed in dress, and with increasing er-... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.4 June 2018
> With “Have some,” you offer me cookies... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.1 March 2018
 
Denver, Dwayne D.
> If you want a love life full of zest... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
 
Di
> ‘One hundred? That’s nothing!’ I cry... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
 
DiCanio, Christian
> The Bar-Raising Principle Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.1 November 2019
 
Die Lingulelen
> Kill All Phoneticians Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.3 March 2014
 
Dikocrates of Garthens
> Plato etc., were Greeky... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
 
Dikolibro
> My brother’s fave dialogue’s Phædo... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.2 October 2021
 
Dinu, Luca
> Hapax Legomena Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> The Historical Phonologist Speculative Grammarian CXCII.2 September 2022
 
dis Thasigh, Esquiry
> Numblemark ordinard dangulates... Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.4 April 2014
 
DoDoZo
> En Esperantuj’ ni kunpavas!... Speculative Grammarian CXC.2 May 2021
 
Dolet, Étienne
> When Latin was slowly becoming V1 of français... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.1 July 2024
 
Δοοδύμοος
> ‘I’m stuck,’ said St Thom. ‘How ’bout you?...’ Speculative Grammarian CXC.1 April 2021
 
Doodymoos
> Said Didymus, ‘What have you got?’... Speculative Grammarian CXC.1 April 2021
 
Downie, Jonathan
> Here’s Me Asking for Tenure... Speculative Grammarian CXC.3 June 2021
 
D’Topp, O. V.
> In “up-ness and down-ness doesn’t stop ...” Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
 

E Authors ^
Eats.., J.. K..
> Ozymandian semicolon.. lying in the sand.. Speculative Grammarian CLXV.2 August 2012
 
Editorial staff of The Interplanetary Society for Chomskyan Studies
> Your journal’s insipid and wretched... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.3 August 2017
 
Editors of SpecGram
> Anti-autonomously... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
> By printing pseudonymous bosh... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.3 August 2017
> An emerging trend... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.3 August 2017
> He lives alone at the end of a hall... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
> It’s really quite hard to conceive it... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.1 September 2021
> Professor Lightner is all in a tizzy... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.4 February 2018
> There once was a nitpicker so grand... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
> We beg, please don’t overreact... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.4 March 2021
> You cheeky little monkey!... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
> Your tombstone, you wretched nefandula... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.3 August 2017
 
Elsässer, Sophie
> Kill All Phoneticians Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.3 March 2014
 
Elwood, Thomas Q.
> Contractions Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
 
Enchiridion, Sophrosyne
> When I Heard the Learn’d Computational Linguist Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> When I Heard the Learn’d Documentary Linguist Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
 
Epiphanios o Phantasiopliktos
> The Phonetician’s Love Poem Speculative Grammarian CLXI.1 February 2011
 
Epiphanios o Philomousos
> Morphomatological Meanderings Speculative Grammarian CLX.1 October 2010
 
Ernst, Tom
> The Anguish Lenglage II Lingua Pranca June 1978
 
Expressions, Faizal
> When training up our novice, full-of-beans phonetics teachers... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.2 October 2023
 

F Authors ^
Fairfax, Tomé
> I long to see and to read... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
 
Fester-Münsterfenster, Hester
> The Brits are a curious race... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.2 February 2017
> A crank there once was of a flavor... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.1 May 2016
> The decoded transmission from heaven... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.1 March 2018
> I punctuate prose and verse randomly Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.1 January 2017
> I’ve a hell and a half of a time... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.4 June 2018
> A limerick’s not hard to write... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.2 June 2017
> A linguist who pondered a bit... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVII.4 December 2016
> A linguist with ethics quite crippled... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.2 December 2017
> A linguistic crank prone to carrying... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.3 August 2017
> A logician there was of great polish... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> A Neogrammarian wit... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.2 June 2014
> Old Tolkien has quite a high standing... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.3 March 2016
> Once when planning some fieldwork in Fiji... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.3 March 2017
> A rare fieldworking dab hand I’d planned to be... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.2 April 2018
> The reduction of vowels has caused vicious wars... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.1 July 2018
> The task of emplacing an *... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.3 September 2018
> There once was a bored phonetician... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.1 May 2014
> There once was a thinker from Ockham... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
> To Fieldworkers of Old in Evenkia Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.2 August 2018
> When I’d tasted my grandmother’s pastry... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.4 February 2018
> When suffering mild pharyngitis... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.4 October 2017
> While measuring birdsong performance... Speculative Grammarian CLXX.3 July 2014
 
Festino-Scroccone, Vincenzo
> An Apulian chef, young and silly... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.3 July 2016
> The great kings of yore Vercingetorix... (Linguimericks) Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.3 July 2016
> The great kings of yore Vercingetorix... (Linguinericks) Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.3 July 2016
> There once was a kitten named Noodle... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.3 July 2016
 
Fiemm, Marvv
> I once found a noun-noun compound... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.3 December 2021
 
Fink, Alex
> Amazing Grice Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.3 February 2013
 
Fionn
> When training up our novice, full-of-beans phonetics teachers... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.2 October 2023
 
Fish, Vincent
> Roses are red... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
 

G Authors ^
Girdle-Girtle, Gertrooda
> When I lecture, I wear a huge bonnet... Speculative Grammarian CXC.2 May 2021
 
Gloria
> Compound nouns are not much fun Speculative Grammarian CLXVII.4 August 2013
 
Godd, O.
> Vladimir, Estragon—oh no!... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.3 January 2024
 
González Pérez-Tórrez, Charla
> O! The syntax and semantics.. Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.1 June 2023
> Study of language, so vast and broad... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
> The study of words’ genesis... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.2 October 2023
 
Grad Student Shanty
> Pulju’s Volunteers Speculative Grammarian CLXVII.2 May 2013
 
Grammarian, Deak-Contextualised
> X-bar once was just N, V, Adj, P... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
 
A Great Cloud of Witnesses
> Forget all that boring phonology!... Speculative Grammarian CXC.1 April 2021
 
Gr’Grah, Grahmbles
> It Speculative Grammarian CXCI.1 September 2021
 
Guthric the Left-Handed Linguist of Lindisfarne
> Please remember, poets... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
 

H Authors ^
Hao-Wen, Y
> Of the relative pronouns, whereby... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
 
Hartley, TJ
> Ah! the pleasures (hmmm!) of academia... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.2 December 2019
> I’ve known my share of academics... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.3 September 2019
 
Hathaway, Anne
> ‘Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?’... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.4 April 2024
 
Herrick, Earl
> To the Field Workers, to Make Much of Time Psammeticus Quarterly XVI.4 August 1989
 
Hipple, Ted
> The Traditional Grammarian as Poet Speculative Grammarian CLXVIII.1 September 2013
 
Hoff
> The accusative -n termination... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.2 October 2021
 
Homer from Cromer
> I was going to write a Great Epic... Speculative Grammarian CXC.2 May 2021
 
Hood, Thomas
> Excerpt from Faithless Sally Brown Speculative Grammarian CLX.1 October 2010
 
Hu, Clara
> The Brothers Grimm... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.1 March 2019
> Daniel L. Everett... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.4 February 2019
> Derek Bickerton... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.2 December 2019
> Dyspepsia Prater... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.3 September 2019
> Jean Berko Gleason... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.2 August 2019
> John Ridley Stroop... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.1 July 2019
> Noam... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.1 March 2020
> There once was a mid-central vowel... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
 
Hu, U No
> I think that I shall never see Lingua Pranca June 1978
> Noam Chomsky sat on a wall Lingua Pranca June 1978
> Phonology hot, phonology cold Lingua Pranca June 1978
> This little phone had high tone Lingua Pranca June 1978
 
Hʌbbɚd, Old Mʌðɚ
> H[ə]ck[ə]r[ə]-d[ə]ck[ə]r[ə]-d[ə]ck!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
> Humpty-Dumpty only used schwa... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
> Old Macdonald had a quadrilateral farm... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
> There was an old linguist who lived in a schwa... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.2 September 2020
 
Hugh
> All Alone Allophone Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.4 March 2021
 
Hūū, Yune O., II
> Baa-baa, Reduplication Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> Flow, Flow, Flow Your Air Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> Foamy Noamy Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> How Many Words Would a Wordcheck Check? Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> /ini˥ mini˦ maɪni˧ mo˨/ Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> The Itsy Bitsy Air Puff Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> Letter H and N-G Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> Low, Low, Lower Your Vowels Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> Maxims of Grice Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> Peter’s Parser Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> P’op’ Goes The Ejective! Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> There Was an Old Linguist Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> This Little Linguist Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
> Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Word Collateral Descendant
     of Lingua Pranca		 October 2009
 

I Authors ^
I., Keane
> The subtly inserted (i)... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
 
Icity, Sybil
> In Cymraeg ‘one hundred’ is can or cant... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
 
Illič, V.M.
> ḲelHā weṭei ʕaḲun kāhla Psammeticus Quarterly XVI.4 August 1989
 
Innocuous Mustard
> The Braille Song Speculative Grammarian CLVIII.1 January 2010
 
The Interns
> SpecGram’s Ed-in-Chief deals out dark stares... Speculative Grammarian CXC.2 May 2021
 
Ipsum, Lauren
> At the Library Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIV.2 April 2019
> Binding? C-command? Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.4 April 2016
> Fresh young faces yearn... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.3 January 2024
> Lowercase #hashtags... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.4 June 2018
> O LaTeX! Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.3 March 2017
> Seek you abstractions... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.1 May 2016
> Sow ideas in dust... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.2 December 2017
> Syntax seminar... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.1 July 2018
> TA for Ling 101 Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.4 February 2018
 

J Authors ^
Jester, Meekly Capable
> Automatic translation is fun!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.4 November 2020
> It’s fiendish to translate a rhyme... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
> This theory is just as as I feared... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIII.2 December 2018
 
The Joint Prosody Working Group of The Linguistic Society of America and The Academy of American Poets
> The SpecGram Manifesto Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.4 October 2017
 
Jones, Trey
> Grammar Cop Speculative Grammarian CLXXIII.3 July 2015
> I am a big fan of recursion!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
 

K Authors ^
Kahn, Jessie
> In Cymraeg ‘one hundred’ is can... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
 
Kandylaki, Katerina
> Kill All Phoneticians Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.3 March 2014
 
Kane-Connington, Kanye
> If you seek experthood exegetical... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
 
Kant, Noah I
> In Cymraeg ‘one hundred’ is cant... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
 
Katz, Aya
> The Sinking Of Linear Thinking Gaugauh Kamadugha I.4 August 1991
> The Tribesman Speculative Grammarian CXLVII.1 January 1993
 
Kerr, May
> The Cosmos, in whole and entire... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.2 October 2024
 
Khayyam, Omar
> Rubāʿī Concerning Discourse Speculative Grammarian CLXXVII.2 October 2016
 
Kids’ Television Sweatshop
> Three of these dudes are different from the fourth dude... Speculative Grammarian CXC.2 May 2021
 
King-Filler, Stu
> Well, well, Father Christmas! I pause... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
 
Kirkham, Deak
> 1066 Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
> The double grave, double acute... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.2 January 2021
> Here’s Me Asking for Tenure... Speculative Grammarian CXC.3 June 2021
> I love this linguistics satirical... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> Philologists & Linguists Speculative Grammarian CLXXXV.2 August 2019
> Plato etc., were Greeky... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> A Researcher’s Tale Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVI.3 January 2020
> Romance Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
> Sign Fever Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> That scholar from Randers, Jens Jespersen... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
 
Kirkhamhof, Luvodiko
> A lingua-decision: I plan to... Speculative Grammarian CXCI.1 September 2021
 
Kore-Eckly, Eysp L.
> A Poetic Meditation on English Spelling Rules and Reform For Two Contrasting Voices Speculative Grammarian CLV.3 December 2008
 
Kruck, W.
> When I Heard the Learn’d Phonologist Lingua Pranca June 1978
> When I Heard the Learn’d Syntactician Lingua Pranca June 1978
 

L Authors ^
Lamont, Andrew
> an abjad walks into a bar... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.2 October 2023
> Bayesian schmayesian... Speculative Grammarian CLXXV.3 March 2016
> a bird in the bush is worth shruggin’... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.2 September 2022
> čǎřřy̌ǐňǧ old M̄āc̄k̄ r̄ōūn̄d to his g̀r̀àv̀è... Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.1 June 2023
> cfg schmfg... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIX.4 October 2017
> The Clay Mathematics Institute Owes Me $1,000,000 Speculative Grammarian CXCII.3 December 2022
> Cognitive schmognitive... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIV.4 December 2015
> The Coordinate Structure Constraint... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIII.4 August 2015
> doctorate schmoctorate... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.4 June 2020
> epp schmepp... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.1 March 2020
> fusional schmusional... Speculative Grammarian CLXXX.4 February 2018
> Harmonic Grammar Speculative Grammarian CLXXVIII.1 January 2017
> history schmistory... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXI.3 May 2018
> language pathology 101 Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.4 April 2024
> manual schmanual... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.3 February 2025
> my CKY EXE file’d... Speculative Grammarian CXCIV.1 July 2024
> on the meaning of root-suffix=clitic constructions Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.3 January 2024
> On the Prosodic Correlates of Weak and Strong Generative Capacity Speculative Grammarian CXCII.1 June 2022
> Optimal schmoptimal... Speculative Grammarian CLXXIV.2 October 2015
> physicists think they’re so clever... Speculative Grammarian CXC.2 May 2021
> a refereed study of audibles Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
> sibilant schmibilant Speculative Grammarian CLXXXII.2 August 2018
> there was a descriptivist linguist... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> While X-bar works just fine for syntax... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.1 December 2020
 
Lanyi, Gabriel
> In the 8th Circle Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.1 June 2023
 
Lear, Edward
> There once was an old syntactician Psammeticus Quarterly XVI.4 August 1989
> There once was an old syntactician... Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.1 January 2014
 
Leser, Stephanie
> Kill All Phoneticians Speculative Grammarian CLXIX.3 March 2014
 
Limmer, Rick
> The double acute, as a rule... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.2 January 2021
> I love this linguistics satirical... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.1 August 2020
> Kara sinjor’ kaj amiko!... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVIII.3 October 2020
> Why is English so very prolific?... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
 
The Linguistick Hymnary
> Great is Thy Faithfulness Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.1 November 2012
> Joy to the Word Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.1 November 2012
> The Linguist’s One Foundation Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.1 November 2012
> Typology, Typology Speculative Grammarian CLXVI.1 November 2012
 
Lingw, L.
> Ode to [h] (for example) Speculative Grammarian CXCIII.3 January 2024
 
Loe, Fi
> Now Philo of Alexandria... Speculative Grammarian CXCII.4 March 2023
 
Lòŋ, Hēe Hü Wright Stu
> With issues of SpecGram we’re blessed... Speculative Grammarian CLXXVI.1 May 2016
 
Lym, Rex
> I’ve heard of enclitics, proclitics... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.2 January 2021
 
Lyons, Fi F.
> The circumflex points to the sky... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.2 January 2021
> A Morphosyntactician Retorts Speculative Grammarian CLXXXVII.3 May 2020
> Zamenhof used diacritics... Speculative Grammarian CLXXXIX.3 February 2021
 
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