Argued and bickered on
’Bout creole and pidgin,
As though ’twas his religion.
Linguists’ articles are bad, that’s for sure;
Technical writing just has no allure.
How to write up your stuff
Without pretentious fluff?
Linguimerickicization’s the cure.
—Morris Swadesh III
‘The head of the sentence is I’?
Asked the student with wide open eye
‘But why not the predicate?
Enough with this headache! It
Just makes me think why do I try?’
It’s known dogs are insipid and dumb,
And that cats are deceitful and numb,
Yet we treat some as high-bred
Who act worse than a hybrid
Of both beasts in the scholarly scrum.
Your hard drive crashes
As you email the paper
—Col. O. Nihilist
Ah! the pleasures (hmmm!) of academia
Are enough to induce hypoxemia;
And dull most of the time
I need something creami- and steamier
For the best of phonetical thrills—
Which includes hexilabial trills,
Or tenticular taps,
Or quadripterous flaps—
Good linguistic sci-fi fits the bill.
—α-Betty Abū Gida
At the LSA
There once was a linguist, Alessi,
With argumentation so messy,
She should have recanted
Or red wine decanted,
But talked until all eyes turned glassy.