Clever Ditties and Bitter Tormentia from Our Readers
Val Harmony
It was many and many a year ago,
In a tower of ivory,
That a maiden there lived who I did love,
By the name of Val Harmony;
And this maiden and I, we had no other thought
Than to study phonology.
I was a grad and she was a grad,
In this tower of ivory,
But we worked with a fervor surpassing our profs
I and my Val Harmony;
And our papers on Autosegmental design
Others coveted her and me.
And this was the reason that, long ago,
In this tower of ivory,
An “accident” happened one night, killing
My beautiful Val Harmony;
So that our fellow students came
And bore her away from me,
And laid her to rest in a tomb far away
From this tower of ivory.
Professors, in spite of their tenure and perks,
Went envying her and me;
Yes! that was the reason, (as all men know,
In this tower of ivory)
That a shelf fell down in the stacks by night,
Crushing and killing my Val Harmony.
But our touch, it spread wider by far than the clutch
Of those much more famous than we,
Of many more published than we;
And neither the scholars of East coast nor West,
Nor the prof from the Windy City,
Can ever dissever my tears from the tears
Of the beautiful Val Harmony:
For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of the beautiful Val Harmony;
And I scarce draw a chart, but it mirrors the heart
Of the beautiful Val Harmony;
Though our foes think it quaint, yet my love grows not faint
For the maiden whose love for me knew no constraint:
Her whose skeleton rests and is free,
From the tower of ivory.
