An Englishman, hitting the bottle,
Confessed, “I would much like to throttle
Each Estuary louse
And babbling Scouse
Who turns alveolars to glottal!”
A loanword I heard in अमरो-
हा was clearly not borrowed from ཁམས་ so
I guessed it was དབུས་གཙང་
But that was just all wrong—
It turns out the form was from ཨ་མདོ།
There once was a phonotactician
Whose book reached its 19th edition.
When asked to explain
Her publishing fame,
She replied “I do annual revisions.”
—Morris Swadesh III
“Oh how I love Chinese letters!”
The young linguist said when we met her.
“You’ll learn ‘logogram’,
Or else you can scram!”
Came the reply from her betters.
Good theorists in bed, it is said,
Will churn up ideas in their heads
They snuffle and snore
And mumble and bore
While their spouses do fieldwork instead.
—Col. O. Nihilist
Young lady, I have a confession.
Intonationally you’re a mess, hon!
All day in my ear
It’s ‘uptalk’ I hear.
How the hell do you know what’s a question?
—The Pitch Witch