As we worship the gods of the schwas
We dance in a circle round fires;
We bring central vowel gifts,
Whose sacrifice lifts
Our chant (‘[ə], [ə], [ə]!’) to the stars.
—Carly C. Cairns
A versatile grapheme is ⟨E⟩
Flip ⟨E⟩ round and it means “There must be.”
Little ⟨e⟩’s heard in “bait”, see
But rotate ⟨e⟩ one-eighty,
And it’s stress-free and placed centrally.
The best monophthong—and by far—
Is not [i], [y], [e], [ɔ], [ɪ] or [a:]
But the one’s like a soft ‘uh’
(As in ‘butter’, ‘crofter’)
It’s an upside-down ‘e’—and called schwa.
—Bruce B. Brussels
There once was a mid-central vowel,
As calm and as wise as an owl,
It never was stressed,
(By “schwa” ’twas addressed)
That peaceful and centered mid-vowel!
Roses are red
Rosa’s are chic
Contrast is lost
When the vowels are weak
Unstressed vowels your words will not ornament,
When placed by the side of a sonorant.
Your schwas, I must say,
Will vanish away
Like a fish gobbled up by a cormorant.
If you want a love life full of zest
Then enhance it with this schwa stress test.
Don’t talk about yearnings
Or buy her some earrings;
Just say ‘Darling, I schwa you best!’
—Dwayne D. Denver
An inspired freshman linguist cried, “Aaaah!
This upside-down ‘e’ is called schwa.
But why just this name?
The rest should be same:
E.g. schwiii, schwuuu, schwaaaiii, et ceterah.”
—Alex A. Antwerp
One two three, one two three
Subscripted h’s in
Do have their faults
Though they kicked out the schwa
There’s lots of room for more
Vowels at this waltz