Linguist Dubstep—Rebecca Lovering SpecGram Vol CLXXIII, No 3 Contents Grammar Cop—Trey Jones

Book २०

A fear that I get shortly after
Writing something intended for laughter:
Whatever I do
Facts and logic to skew,
Real linguists have done something dafter.
—Pete Bleackley

An /h/-droppin’ linguist in Youston
Found her love of the town she was losin’:
“Texans are nice,
And I really like Rice,
But y’all treat me like I’m sub-yuman.”
—α-Betty Abū Gida

A young phonetician asked, “Why
Can’t I look at my tongue with my eye?
If I give my mind to it,
I’m sure I can do it.
You never can tell till you try.”
—P. Ublekkdeaux Meign

A theorist got stuck in a tree
And his colleagues all screamed out in glee,
“Now we see what he got
With his big funding pot—
An old branch of high philosophee.”
—Col. O. Nihilist

There once was a linguist named Hallyer
Whose transcriptions were grossly a failure.
His data from Luri
And even Kanuri
Resembled at best glossolalia.
—Pumptilian Perniquity

There once was a linguist from Mordor,
Whose vast minions obeyed every order,
So their lines never crossed
When their foes they’d accost,
And each spear held a hidden recorder.
—Morris Swadesh III

Linguist DubstepRebecca Lovering
Grammar CopTrey Jones
SpecGram Vol CLXXIII, No 3 Contents