It’s a field with une certaine mystique
With models so pure and so sleek.
In Deutsch, they have class
’Cause it’s Sprachwissenschaft,
But in France it’s just la linguistique.
—Col. O. Nihilist
An armchair researcher quite eerie
Realised that fieldwork’s too dreary.
So he sat in his sanctum
Taking selfies at random
As support for his syntactic theory.
—Cailín na Luimní
After working all night on my thesis,
I am feeling a little amnesious.
All the insights I had
Have begun to sound bad,
And my future is looking degreeless.
—Morris Swadesh III
A linguist told to assimilate,
So as to properly integrate,
Changed all of his words—
His speech is now slurred—
“/oʊ/! /aɪ dɪn nɒp min du æβfʌθteɪt/!”
—Κόμμα Ο᾿Κῶλον
Cognitive schmognitive
Bouba and kiki don’t
Etymologically
Signify such
Phonesthematically
Labials signify
Sphericalality
Ks not so much
—Andrew Lamont
