ALCUIN, O ALCUIN, YOU RENAIS-
   SANCE-Y CAROLINGIAN BASTARD,
YOU HAVE GONE AND NEARLY DOUBLED
   THE COUNT OF LETTERS TO BE MASTERED.

FIRST AND SECOND GRADERS ALL OVER
   SHOULD REVILE YOUR WICKED NAME;
EVEN THEY KNOW THAT BIG AND LITTLE 
   LETTERS SHOULD REALLY LOOK THE SAME.


A PAN-EUROPEAN ALPHABET 
   WAS ONCE PERHAPS A POSSIBILITY,
BUT NOW WITH β, b, AND в,
   IT QUITE CLEARLY CANNOT COME TO B.

THE DREAM OF THAT SINGLE SCRIPT IS
   NO MORE, A PARADISE WISHED, BUT LOST;
MERE DUST AND ASHES, THE FOOD OF WORMS, 
   BLOOMS SLAIN, BY YOUR MINUSCULE FROST.


O ALCUIN, YOU “LOVER OF WISDOM”,
   FULL OF PIETY, HUMBLE AND MEEK,
I BLAME YOU FOR StUdLy CaPs, AND 
   CamelCase, AND WORDS TOO l33t TO sp34k.

BUT WHAT FATE, MINUSCULE OR MAJ-
   USCULE, WOULD MAKE FOR A FITTING CURSE?
WITH ONLY BLUNT WORDS TO WIELD, I
   STRIKE AT YOU WITH A DOGGEREL VERSE.