Once when planning some fieldwork in Fiji,
My informants I sought via Ouija.
Unfortunately
No names did I see,
For the board needed cleaned with a squeegee.
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster
“Morphophoneme” has too many o’s,
As orthographic review clearly shows.
But for true o distress
none surpass the excess
Of those morphophonologo-bozos.
—Morris Swadesh III
A test of your linguistic bottle
Is to say what comes next at full throttle:
An Icelandic name
Of infamous fame—
Eyjafjallajökull.
—Pete Bleackley
While pursuing Caucasianist schemes,
For Archi I revised its phonemes,
Which published caused grief
And sheer disbelief
For ’twas thought I meant archiphonemes.
—Pumptilian Perniquity
In the lecture hall one bright clear day
Prof Hernandez was pontifica-
ting re syntactic trees
with depending nodies
that would drive child acquirers quite fey.
—Shiraz Sauvignon
O 
! You make
Trees! Math! Glosses! IPA!
Prof wants PowerPoint.
—Lauren Ipsum
