She’s been told he’s The Linguist Almighty.
Just one class and with joy and delight she
Believes all of Chomsky
With nary a qualmsky!
That’s the life of a frosh at MIT.
—α-Betty Abū Gida
The Brits are a curious race,
Whose humor themselves does efface.
But also well-known,
And oft to bemoan:
They tend other tongues to deface.
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster
With my bag of linguistical tricks,
You might think I’d have interesting schticks,
But that Ph.D. robe
Is just an empty node—
All I can do is write linguimericks.
—Aspergillus Niger
I wish I’d ne’er taken the task
Of writing a grammar of Basque.
Each feature surpassed
In weirdness the last—
The answers may lie in this flask.
—Pete Bleackley
Sometimes problematic data can’t be saved,
Even though my magic wand be waved.
But I gave a joyous squeak
When I learned this little tweak:
If I make my data up, it’s well-behaved.
—Morris Swadesh III
A young linguist who worked on crustacea
And on how they are named in East Asia
The locals embraced
When just with one taste
She distinguished 明蝦 from 藍尾蝦.
—Pumptilian Perniquity
