I’ll no longer go by four wheels,
I have to admit that it feels
A little too frightening
When postillions catch lightning,
But my hovercraft’s now full of eels.
If you seek to know things linguistique
Then do Biblical Studies; you’ll meet
Not just texts in contexts
But a wide range of lects
Such as Syriac, Latin and Greek.
—Dr Brewster ‘Bathoil’ McFewster
“Automatic translation is fun!
Results are just second-to-none.
It captures each nuance
And makes me seem fluent,”
I said at the point of a gun.
—Meekly Capable Jester
There was once a Romance grammarian
Fed up with all things pescatarian.
Poisson, pez, and pesce,
Then piscis and pexe—
It’s enough to make one vegetarian!
I’m writing a new research article
And it’s called ‘Preposition or particle?
A study of through’.
It won’t surprise you
That the argument’s mad, if not farcical.
That language is combinatorial
Is hardly an insight doctor(i)al;
Do so all the time.
—Mrs Strawberry Pudding
I love—I adore!—affixation—
With a quick bit of glue
They stack up in a queue:
Phonemes are really abstract.
That is why you need some tact
When asking informants
For allophones dormant
In their speech—and that’s a fact!