When funds for her research Liz sought her,
Its sponsorship offered a bottler.
“Oh, hellfire!” she said,
“I asked for some bread
But all that they gave me was water.”
—Pumptilian Perniquity
All our theories succeed as they do
’Cause we make up our data. It’s true!
This might seem quite strange,
Until it’s explained
That most linguists are fictional, too.
—Morris Swadesh III
I punctuate prose and verse randomly
And dɪsregard rules and sense tandemly
So no comma or dot
Nary tɪttle nor ȷot
But chance worked that way most unfathomly
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster
Always remember that case
Is not just one thing in one place.
In the Caucasus it’s
Often made out of bits
No matter what anyone Tsez.
—Pete Bleackley
Harmonic Grammar
dominance schmominance
prominence promises
privileged positions re-
gardless of rank
cumulativity
proffers equality,
harmony, peace just by
joining a gang
—Andrew Lamont
