How to Solve Syntax—David Marino SpecGram Vol CLXXV, No 3 Contents Speculative Grammarian’s Song—Mikael Thompson

Linguimericks, Etc.
Book २८

When my students discovered phonetics
And that speaking involves much kinetics,
They cried: “So much hustle
Moving tendon and muscle!”
So they gladly embraced speech synthetics.
—Algo V. Terbi

There once was a student of Quechua
Whose adviser advised her, “Now get you a
Look at expressing
Emphatic and guessing,”
To which she replied, “Oh, you bet you-a!”
—Pumptilian Perniquity

Some say that my tongue’s analytic;
Of this view you will find me a critic,
For head markings abound
And often I’ve found
That subjects mark tense with a clitic.
—Pete Bleackley

Old Tolkien has quite a high standing
For conlangs that meet tastes demanding.
But all that he wrought
Shows “tone ilk” he’s not,
All an’grams thereof notwithstanding.
—Hester Fester-Münsterfenster

That family restaurant
Serves my favorite chocolate snack,
With hot syncope sauce.
—Sheri Wells-Jensen

Bayesian schmayesian
Babies acquiring
Speech variation are
Very confused

Object impermanence
Nixes invisible
Markovs from use
—Andrew Lamont

How to Solve SyntaxDavid Marino
Speculative Grammarian’s SongMikael Thompson
SpecGram Vol CLXXV, No 3 Contents