/nuz baɪts/ SpecGram Vol CLXXXIV, No 1 Contents The Great Phonetical Epic Hymn—Mikael Thompson

Book ६०

A grammar purported to show
Some data I wanted to know,
But I should have heeded,
The sentence I needed
Said, “Klaatu barada nikto.”
—Pete Bleackley

The Brothers Grimm,
On a curious whim,
Set aside folklore documentation,
To reconstruct Proto-Germanic consonant aspiration.
—Clara Hu

It’s not you
A linguist who did Oceanic
Had a rep as big as Titanic,
With papers and books
And dashing good looks,
He also was quite the romantic.
—Terry Tepuke

Prescriptivist hacks have me beat;
They keep on their quest to unseat
Changes in language.
They scream out in anguish
When it’s stated that passives are neat!
—Col. O. Nihilist

I’m about half thru PhD
And sat in York uni lib’ry
As I work on the thesis
The tension increases
So I’ll write some more SpecGram po’try
—William Deakspeare

When prescribing the graciousness she’d adore
While insulting the banes of her peeves galore
The gadfly net nanny
Gave th’impression uncanny
Of a long-past-her-prime dainty stevedore.
—Pumptilian Perniquity

/nuz baɪts/
The Great Phonetical Epic HymnMikael Thompson
SpecGram Vol CLXXXIV, No 1 Contents