The phonetics test read: ‘Overleaf
In IPA write the beneath:
“Ooh, ee, aah, ting-tang;
Walla-walla, bing-bang” ’
Thence came weeping and gnashing of teeth.
—Deadly Syntax
The Viva concluded thus, “Very nice.
Step outside for a while.” Then they rolled the dice!
The poor candidate
Returned. And her fate:
“Today you’ll be with me in paradise.”
—Sr Blister
Welcome, freshmen, to the world
Of serious syntax! You’ve heard
Of lexemes and stuff
And morphemes. What guff!
In the beginning, my friends, was the word!
—Prof Bothersome
Forget all that boring phonology!
Think phonetics! There’s articulatory;
Two: acoustic; and three
(The best): auditory.
It’s a Holy PhoneTrinity!
—A Great Cloud of Witnesses
So Mark wrote first (say, 62)
Then came Matthew and Luke both of who
Had another shared source.
What was it? Of course,
That’s big NT Wh- Q.
—Querman Quelle
Some mages (from th’East, past the junction)
Journeyed west to anoint him (like unction).
They arrived and said ‘We
Have brought him gifts three:
The meaning, the form and the function.’
—Bad Boy Balthazar
Said Didymus, ‘What have you got?’
Jesus calmly replied, with a nod,
‘Well Exercise 3
Needs an adjunct PP.’
Tommy answered, ‘My Lord and My God!’
—Doodymoos
And the original Greek:
‘I’m stuck,’ said St Thom. ‘How ’bout you?
Have you figured out exercise 2?’
JC said, ‘Use N-
bar’. Καὶ Θωμᾶς εἶπεν,
Ὁ κύριος καὶ Θεός μου!
—Δοοδύμοος
