Continuing in the great tradition of Stepfather Goose, the following nursery rhymes are presented to ensure their preservation for future generations of young linguists.
P’op’ Goes The Ejective!All around the agreement bushThe noun chased the adjéctive. The noun thought ’twas all in fun. P’op’! goes the ejective! A penny to pay the undergrad For judgments introspective. That’s the way the money goes. P’op’! goes the ejective! If John kissed Mary habitually, The action’s imperfective, That’s the way the aspect goes. P’op’! goes the ejective! Half a pound of subjective case, Half a pound of objective, Mix it up and make declensions, P’op’! goes the ejective! Baa-baa, ReduplicationBaa-baa, reduplication,Are you truly full? Yes-yes, sir-sir, I’m full-full. Once for the base form whence meaning came, And once to intensify— More-more of the same. Baa-baa, reduplication, Are you truly full? Yes-yes, sir-sir, I’m full-full. /ini˥ mini˦ maɪni˧ mo˨//ini˥ mini˦ maɪni˧ mo˨/Catch a phoneme by the /to˩/ If it rises, mark the /ton˧˥/. /ini˥ mini˦ maɪni˧ mo˨/ The Itsy Bitsy Air PuffThe itsy bitsy air puff went up to the speaker’s mouth.Down came the velum, and a nasal stop came out. Pull down the diaphragm to draw some air back in. And an itsy bitsy air puff goes up to the mouth again. Foamy NoamyFoamy Noamy, the generative guy,Kissed the structuralists and made them cry. When politics came out to play, Foamy Noamy ran away. Twinkle, Twinkle, Little WordTwinkle, twinkle, little word,How I wonder what I heard. Native speakers talk so fast! Will I learn to speak at last? Twinkle, twinkle, little word, How I wonder what I heard. Maxims of GriceMaxims of Grice. Maxims of Grice.See how they break. See how they break. Sarcasm flouts quality with bite. Quantity can go when you tell a white lie. Non sequiturs flout relevance (with a kite). Oh, maxims of Grice... maxims of Grice. This Little LinguistThis little linguist put transcription in square brackets,This little linguist used slashes for some, This little linguist traced *gwou- back from beef, This little linguist had etymologies for none, And this little linguist cried, /wi wi wi/, all the way back to the grad student lounge. There Was an Old LinguistThere was an old linguist who studied ǃXóõ.It had so many phonemes, she didn’t know what to dóõ. After ignoring the clicks, phonation, and tones, She said at last, “That’s not so many phones!” Letter H and N-GLetter H could end no rhyme,N-G could start no word, And so betwixt the two of them, The phoneme “heng” emerged. Peter’s ParserPeter’s parser parsed a paragraphOf paraphrastic palindromes; A paragraph of paraphrastic palindromes Peter’s parser parsed. If Peter’s parser parsed a paragraph Of paraphrastic palindromes, Where’s the paragraph of paraphrastic palindromes Peter’s parser parsed? Flow, Flow, Flow Your AirFlow, flow, flow your air;Gently start the stream. Pulmonic egressive, pulmonic egressive. Sounds are heard not seen. Low, Low, Lower Your VowelsLow, low, lower your vowels,Until they all agree. Assimi-latory, assimi-latory, They’re now in harmony! How Many Words Would a Wordcheck Check?[In RP only, please]How many words would a wordcheck check, If a wordcheck could check words? A wordcheck would check as many words as a wordcheck could If a wordcheck could check words. |
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English on the edge—Terence MacNamee |
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More Murphy’s Laws for Linguists—Trey Jones & Bill Spruiell |
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Collateral Descendant of Lingua Pranca Contents |